Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Pre proposal stories?

12 replies

Bettei · 20/04/2025 14:27

I'd really like to hear about your pre proposal stories. I think my own partner is gearing up to ask (but who knows, maybe not?!)

Did you know it was coming? Were there clues leading up to it? Was it more low key than that? Did you in fact ask them? I'd love to hear about it ☺️

OP posts:
mindutopia · 20/04/2025 15:30

Yes, I knew it was coming because we tentatively had a general wedding date in mind (had to get married by a certain point in the next year for my visa) and we’d had a ring designed and I knew it was paid for and Dh had it.

I had some suspicion that it was possibly going to happen because Dh had made a big deal of me staying at work longer the day before even though I wanted to come home early because I had a tummy bug. He literally made me stay even though I was shitting myself and trapped in the work bathroom. 😂 He was making us a picnic and getting everything organised and didn’t want me to walk in on all the prep.

He wanted to go take this particular walk to a scenic lookout in the morning, because then after he had to run off to a two day meeting with work. I was a bit annoyed that he was going to rush me out of the house early to propose but then bugger off to do a work thing the rest of the weekend. The meeting was just a ruse. He’d booked us a romantic break for the weekend to celebrate. Thankfully, my tummy bug had cleared up by then. 😬

Original poster
Bettei · 20/04/2025 19:18

mindutopia · 20/04/2025 15:30

Yes, I knew it was coming because we tentatively had a general wedding date in mind (had to get married by a certain point in the next year for my visa) and we’d had a ring designed and I knew it was paid for and Dh had it.

I had some suspicion that it was possibly going to happen because Dh had made a big deal of me staying at work longer the day before even though I wanted to come home early because I had a tummy bug. He literally made me stay even though I was shitting myself and trapped in the work bathroom. 😂 He was making us a picnic and getting everything organised and didn’t want me to walk in on all the prep.

He wanted to go take this particular walk to a scenic lookout in the morning, because then after he had to run off to a two day meeting with work. I was a bit annoyed that he was going to rush me out of the house early to propose but then bugger off to do a work thing the rest of the weekend. The meeting was just a ruse. He’d booked us a romantic break for the weekend to celebrate. Thankfully, my tummy bug had cleared up by then. 😬

Oh my goodness, I love the surprise weekend away! That's so lovely. Also great that you got a say on the ring. I must say this is something that worries me a bit though I've tried dropping him some hints.

OP posts:
GreyRooted · 20/04/2025 19:39

I didn’t have a clue. He got down on one (wet) knee in the rain in the hospital car park just before we were going in for our first scan for our daughter. It was also Valentine’s Day. And his birthday!

It was perfect for me!

Klemamtine · 20/04/2025 19:55

Yes I knew the engagement was coming because we discussed timelines before we moved in together. We had talks about how we thought our lives might play out, children, attitudes to parenting, money, baptising or not baptising, what kind of wedding we thought we might want etc.

We had a long distance relationship for a year too as I had graduated and was working and Dh was still at uni doing a 4 year course so we did a lot of talking before moving in together where Dh's job was. This meant leaving my family, friends and job to be with him so I had to be sure.

We went ring shopping together so there wasn't a surprise proposal. We have been married for almost 26 years.

Springflowersyay · 20/04/2025 19:59

The pre-proposal was me saying I wanted to get married and we went out and chose the ring together.

Few days later we went on a beautiful walk. Nothing! 😂

He ‘proposed’ later in the evening while we were both lying on the sofa knackered.
But that’s ok.
I wasn’t waiting for him to ask me - it was something we both decided on and he shows me everyday he loves and cares for me and provides everything I ask for and need.

Original poster
Bettei · 20/04/2025 21:52

GreyRooted · 20/04/2025 19:39

I didn’t have a clue. He got down on one (wet) knee in the rain in the hospital car park just before we were going in for our first scan for our daughter. It was also Valentine’s Day. And his birthday!

It was perfect for me!

I love this! Had you ever discussed marriage in the past or was it completely out of the blue?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bettei · 20/04/2025 21:53

Klemamtine · 20/04/2025 19:55

Yes I knew the engagement was coming because we discussed timelines before we moved in together. We had talks about how we thought our lives might play out, children, attitudes to parenting, money, baptising or not baptising, what kind of wedding we thought we might want etc.

We had a long distance relationship for a year too as I had graduated and was working and Dh was still at uni doing a 4 year course so we did a lot of talking before moving in together where Dh's job was. This meant leaving my family, friends and job to be with him so I had to be sure.

We went ring shopping together so there wasn't a surprise proposal. We have been married for almost 26 years.

Congratulations ❤️ there's something really nice about coming to the decision together.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bettei · 20/04/2025 21:54

Springflowersyay · 20/04/2025 19:59

The pre-proposal was me saying I wanted to get married and we went out and chose the ring together.

Few days later we went on a beautiful walk. Nothing! 😂

He ‘proposed’ later in the evening while we were both lying on the sofa knackered.
But that’s ok.
I wasn’t waiting for him to ask me - it was something we both decided on and he shows me everyday he loves and cares for me and provides everything I ask for and need.

I completely think this is going to be my situation! Very relatable ❤️

OP posts:
GingerLiberalFeminist · 20/04/2025 22:17

I had no idea. The signs were there in retrospect, but not immediately obvious.

We had tickets to a famous battle re-enactment and it was a bit wet so he'd bought an umbrella. That was odd, but i was preggers so thought he was having a considerate day! Then he was really insistent on us visiting a specific site related to the battle (trying not.to be outing here!). I was a bit grumpy but agreed. He proposed at said site with said umbrella. Now forever known as the proposal umbrella 😂

GingerLiberalFeminist · 20/04/2025 22:18

I ought to add we both loved said history and battle so it was incredibly personal to us, he hadn't dragged me on some trip I wasn't interested in! 😂

GreyRooted · 20/04/2025 23:01

Bettei · 20/04/2025 21:52

I love this! Had you ever discussed marriage in the past or was it completely out of the blue?

Show quote history

It was a total surprise. An amazing one though! That baby is 19 in August.😍 Edited to say we hadn’t discussed it really. Probably in passing but not in any significant way.

Shallysally · 20/04/2025 23:09

We had talked about marriage, chose a ring together and I knew he was going to propose when we were on holiday.

The day after we arrived we went for a walk round the resort, I didn’t realise until later that he was looking for a spot to do it!

That evening he steered me, still oblivious, to said spot and got down on one knee. I immediately started crying, it was so lovely.

That was three weeks ago, about to start wedding planning ❤️

New posts on this thread. Refresh page