My husband and I have been married 10 years together for 20 years. Have 2 children one of whom has recently been diagnosed ASD/ADHD. Over the last 5 years we have had one thing after another thrown at us. Family feuds, serious accidents, redundancy, diagnosis of our child. We have got through this.
Just recently my husband is increasing withdrawn from myself and the children, he barely speaks and interacts with us. He’s extremely irritable and short tempered. It’s got to the point he will only interact with the children when it’s to give them an instruction like dinner, bed etc. He shows me no affection, I try to spark a conversation up with him and it’s a 1 word answer. I’m also withdrawing from him and now barely taking any notice of him. I’m bored and fed up with it all…it’s currently 1.30pm on Easter Sunday and he’s asleep on the sofa!!! Is this 20 year relationship? We used to have such a laugh together.
I do 90% of things around the house and he does the bare minimum and over the last year this is something that’s really grating on me. It’s also something that never used to be an issue he pulled his weight.
I’ve tried to address this and he will say he’s ‘fine’ or ‘ there is nothing wrong’ or ‘you know we’ve got a lot going on’ or he’s ’ill’ or ‘tired’
Honestly I’m sick of it and the atmosphere, I have asked him if this is what he wants and he’ll say ‘I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t’ etc.
We have no time to ourselves as we have no childcare and my ASD/ADHD child can be very challenging
He’s always here if he’s not at work, he has no hobbies or anything.
He’s refusing to get and form of therapy for all that we’ve been through as ‘he’s not receptive to that sort of thing’ even though he’s never tried it.
What could all this mean?