Together for 25 yrs and so fucking over his shit

[SummerDaysOnTheWay]

We met at uni… married 21 years ago… 2 beautiful kids… he’s my best friend…. But jesus fucking christ he’s hard work!!!

Perimenopause hits and you just think FUCK OFF… I love you dearly, but you annoy the fucking SHIT out of me!

WHAT do you do ladies… what. Do. You. Do???

We had to have some big conversations! Go away if you can and have some
fun and talk about what you want for the next 5-10 years. Like an MOT.

i highly doubt hes your best friend. Even in peri my best I doesnt annoy me lol my partner however different ball game. I feel bad because I just find so many things about him annoying at the moment 😆 but he’s alright really

HRT made realise that all my irritation was justified. Give it a go, it's as likely to justify your anger as dissolve it.

You must have loved very much 😂😂

Agreed! Well the actual divorcing bit is hard but what comes after is bliss. Very few men pull their weight in long relationships.

Could you come and do mine? Am also peri but my house is a tip and I don’t have the mental wherewithal to deal with it!

Don't rush into anything if hormones are at play. A close friend of mine was on the verge of kicking her husband out but HRT resolved the situation.

Just a word of warning on this. I was exactly like this too and my behaviour to my DH deteriorated as I thought the problem was all him. This created distance between us and whilst I didn’t have the guts to leave, he did.

He basically said he was sick of my hostility towards him, didn’t love me anymore and moved out. 2 years later I am single and miserable, struggling financially and still feeling angry all the time (Meno).

He is now in a new relationship and in his words “very happy with someone who is nice to him!”

I’m third trimester pregnant and DH is the most repulsive, annoying thing I’ve ever seen. So my sympathies.

Yep, this removed my slightly murderous feelings towards my, really very nice, DH.

Your post made me fill up. My amazing DH died nearly 10 years ago. I know there were times when he really aggravated me (and I’m sure he felt the same about me). But, he was there through thick and thin, and I miss him every single day.

Been with mine 27 years this year and just divorcing. Cannot wait

Following xx

My tolerance for other people is so low too OP.

I am on HRT and that does help, but I also think it's more to do with we are at a point in our lives and our tolerance (like our eggs), have just run out.

I tune out. A lot. I cannot change everything around me, so I have worked quite hard on letting things glaze over me. I have too much internal eye rolling happening...

I don't know the answer. Hrt is one if you haven't tried that.
Zone out is the other.

The menopause fucked up my 20 year marriage for sure. I was no longer prepared to tolerate any of his shit so we got divorced.
Post menopause I am back to my old sunny self but I'm still glad he's gone. He really was exhausting.
I think you need to work out if it's peri or if it's really him. You can't go back if you choose divorce.

yep the menopause is all kinds of shit - its the gift that keeps on giving and I am 10+ years post. Really just a realisation on my part that it was the menopause causing this and just trying to be aware of the symptoms and the feelings and working through them. I was lucky though my dh understood all of this and was very supportive. but yes, the mental side of menopause hugely outweighs the physical.

Have you ever considered you annoy the shit out of him? Maybe he can't stand the sight of you either. What do you recommend he does about it?
Perspective and balance is everything.

If you love him, then love him. It’s a verb

I agree you need to work out if it’s peri menopause or genuinely him. We had our only rough patch during my menopause. We were also under horrific stress and upset because at the same time our DD died.

Now my menopause is over I am relieved that I didn’t leave him, I came very close as every single thing was irritating me. He couldn’t even breathe without annoying me.

The only good thing is once over I fell back in love with him all over again and more deeply than ever because actually it was me that was different and not him.

you grey rock lovely and change your mindset 🤗

Peri menopause brings so much anger. Quicker you get it out, explain why your angry, most relationships will survive that if you care for each other.