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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I help my husband feel happier and better about himself?

1 reply

Oceangrey · 19/04/2025 09:18

He says his self worth is the lowest it's ever been, he feels like a bad parent, he hates his body, he's worried he's messed up his work life and is dragging me down...

If I say positive things to him it's like he doesn't hear them, but then he says I'm not giving him enough positivity.

When I pull him up on stuff or say things that 'trigger' him, it means the rest of the day is often a write off because he's upset and then we have an argument. Examples being that he needs to get some different clothes for an event, or he was unfair to our son about something, or he could do with a haircut before a job interview. I don't say stuff unless I feel it's really necessary.

He's out of work recently which I'm ok with, he's doing loads of stuff at home, looked after the kids all Easter, and he's freelancing so he's not actually unemployed. But finding it hard to get interviews.

He's a very good parent. He is overweight, was on the injections for a while but then stopped (they did work). He's having therapy but is resistant to antidepressants. But I feel he is depressed.

Just don't know what to do. We've been together for over 20 years, in our 40s now and always had a good rela but now arguing every day.

OP posts:
PowderMonkeys · 19/04/2025 09:39

Bluntly, you can’t, other than encourage him to continue with therapy, work hard at it, eat well, exercise, see friends etc.

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