Physical abuse damages a person physically. Emotional abuse hurts a person emotionally. Psychological abuse hurts and damages a person's thinking.
In your situation he has been messing with your thinking about what reality is, and what you describe is that he is still relentlessly undermining what you know is true, and he is now using psychobable and what he has learned from counselling to further batter your thinking.
Your confusion is evidence that you have been subject to psychological abuse.
Think about it this way, if he was not abusing you psychologically and it was a regular relationship that needed to end would you be feeling so confused? You wouldn't. What if he was physically abusing you but not psychologically abusing you - would you feel confused or conflicted? No, it would be clear you need to leave. (Note: physical abuse is usually accompanied by psychological abuse, so this is just a hypothetical question to help you see the harm he has done to your thinking).
If can be helpful to say to yourself "the fact I am feeling confused is evidence that I was psychologically abused. And I was being abused for (x) years in my marriage/relationship and now I am starting to recover my own thoughts" or something similar. You can write it down and read it when you feel confused.
The confusion you feel is absolutely normal for someone who has endured profound psychological abuse and it takes time plus ideally some learning about abuse and what was done to you so you can make sense of things to recover. Ideally look for support from someone who understands and works with abuse victims/survivors as anyone untrained and using other standard counselling methods (eg. Psychotherapy) can actually cause you more harm.
Also, notice how contact or conversations with him affect you in terms of making you doubt yourself. The best advice is to go no contact (or limit contact to email only) so you can start to slowly build your own connection with reality as he has demonstrated repeatedly that he has an interest in undermining and hurting your thinking. It is empowering to protect yourself from interactions with someone who continues to harm you, so I would encourage you to think about taking this step for your recovery and well-being.
You are not alone in this by the way!
Why Does He Do That? (Lundy Bancroft) Is an excellent book and free online. You can reseach "coercive control" online, (Laura Richards and Emma Katz) which is the insidious core of extremely damaging forms of domestic violence.