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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Stepping back to protect my children

1 reply

maybejustonemorebiscuit · 18/04/2025 23:54

I will be vague as I don't want to be identified.
i have extended family that through the years I have supported a lot. I try to help, mainly because I want to support the kids. I have tried for the adults but no matter what help or advice I or others give they always head back into the bad situation. Each time, the situation gets a little worse. I've spoken on here at length about things previously under other names. I've passed on lots of excellent advice but every time she just goes for more.
I have found out that she is putting herself in extremely dangerous situations. Social work are heavily involved.
my famil member keeps being involved with someone whom I do not feel safe around and do not feel having my children around. I've decided to stay away from my family member even though she really needs support because first and foremost I need to protect my children. I've tried. I've really tried. I don't want to enable her and then she just goes back to the awful situation. I feel awful for her children but for the sake of my kids, I need to stay well away. I think it is the right thing to do. But my goodness, I feel so guilty. I love them all very much but I have to put my kids first so I need to stay away.

OP posts:
TipsyJoker · 19/04/2025 00:34

You’re doing the right thing. Your kids come first above all else. Just tell her, “I love you and I want to help you but I can’t do that while you are around this person. I don’t feel they are safe. When they are gone from your life, I am here for you.”

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