Single mum, missing intimacy.

[MishaLou]

Hi, so I'm a single mum. Been single for a while now.
I really miss having someone to have fun with, physical touch and someone to laugh with.
I'm a good mum, I have 3 kids who are growing up now, I put my kids first, I'm always doing my best for them. I love being their mum.

I left a long term relationship because the guy slowly became resentful of my children (not his bio kids), he needed to be the absolute number 1 in my life and I couldn't offer that and still can't so I don't want to look for a relationship and have the same thing be an issue. I have no intentions of introducing anyone to my children anytime soon.
Basically I don't want and can't really have serious relationship with anyone for at least another 5 years but does that really have to mean being celebate for 5 years?

I guess the point is I don't really know what I want!
I've been told most guys aren't interested in single mums, that FWB often ends badly, that I should be happy and empowered being single. That I should just focus all of my energy on my kids, surely I am a person aswell as a mum???
Don't get me wrong I am happy being independent and living as just me and the kids. I don't want to change that.

Have any other single mums (or dad's) on here had some flings through their single years?
How did that work out? How did they come about? Did it give you what you needed to be a little bit happier with single parent life?

Just to say I hear you. I'm newly single, my ex partner was a waste of space and abusive to boot. I certainly don't want to introduce another man into my child's life and don't intend to, but I have to admit I am afraid of being celibate for the next 12 years! I would love to have a very casual relationship with someone at some point but not sure I can.

You find somebody on the same wavelength as you. They are out there.

What you need is the same as me and half the world. Is someone who is there when you want them.. Maybe if you find them you can tell me how vinny

I met plenty of guys online when I first divorced. Some wanted a relationship and others were up for a more casual but regular thing.

I would suggest not doing online dating because people lie and misrepresent themselves.

My friend is single, very attractive, doesn’t have any children and she can’t find a decent man so it is pretty difficult I think.

Go on a FWB site? Like fab swinger's?
My friend met a FWB on there and they meet up every other week, go for drinks followed by sex or she goes to his they watch a film, have a takeaway away and have lots of sex. Been going on around 6 months.

Ah op I'm in the same boat. I'm a full time lone parent so between working and parenting I have no opportunity to go out and meet someone and the idea of online dating seems almost pointless because I'd rarely be able to actually meet up with someone. But it does get lonely and I think some of the comments you hear about how single mums should just be content is very unfair given that women only enter their peak libido in their 30s and as you say are also deserving of emotional connection and a bit of fun in life as an individual adult outside of being a mother. I try to put it out of my mind because the idea of being single for so long and then trying to start dating when I'm approaching my 50s is really daunting.

As long as you can separate sex from feelings then as suggested above, fab swingers will get you plenty of sex. Just go for men who have lots of verifications though and have face pics on the site. Most of the others will be married or in relationships.

I agree with above posters, if you go for a casual dating site (not tried fab swingers but I have used Feeld) then you'll find people who are more upfront about what they're looking for (rather than on a typical dating app where men seem to be into the chase and then ghosting!). On a more casual site you will have to scroll through lots of men with no pictures/already married but I had a successful FWB for a while from one of these sites (plus on these sites men are expecting to use condoms!)

Not sure I would ever put a face pic on a dating site...!

@MaxTalk i presume you wouldn't use one then as not sure you'd get much without a photo. Pretty key as people tend to want to feel some form of physical attraction because they start investing in the effort of messaging as its quite tedious all those "first intros"

If it is just casual fun it is very easy to find but you need regular childcare or it will be a non starter.

Same thing single dad two teenage girls 2 jobs no time for anything else not been able to find a date between jobs and kids and only been widowed years hard to do anything apart from day to day life so I get it but it's something we all have to do

No advice on the dating thing as I’m happily single but I totally get what you mean about physical contact. I started booking weekly massage appointments and it really seems to help fill that void for want of a better expression.

Definitely fwb, enjoy yourself. Enjoy dating, chatting, intimacy without all the shit.

Dad here, not dating but figured if I did it would be with a mum, don't think a woman without children would understand the commitment/time/they come 1st lifestyle needed with kids. Excepting here the every 2nd wk end type of Disney dad who lives up the single life for 2 wks at a time, I'm not that type of dad!

Anyway it seems from many MN threads guys in my shoes being middle aged & with younger kids are undateable. As the kids should be grown by now, as per if I'd had them in my 20s.

I don't think you being a single mum will put men off, depends what sort of relationship you are after tho obviously.

FWB could suit you, I dunno how you approach that type of situation, I find the thought a bit odd & seedy, yet had no problem when younger & single with similar situations or brief flings, but I think perhaps for many in similar situations with the right person it could be great

I’ve been celibate for 11 years and enough enough. I’m finding myself so horny day and night I have been having the worst luck meeting someone. Anyway I feel ya dying to have the biggest orgasm ever!

Find a man with kids so he understands your first priority is kids. And find one that would never want to blend families.

Do your kids see their dad, so you have time for yourself?