He's obviously cheating, right? (Sex related)

[Sickofitt]

Nsfw.

Relationship on the rocks, there has been questions about loyalty.
While at my boyfriends house (together ten months) I went into his bedside drawer and saw a bottle of strawberry lube. Without getting too graphic we do use lube occasionally but never for oral and there's always been plenty in that department without need for "encouragement".
I asked why he had it he insisted we brought it and had used it together, I insisted we did/have not. After a bit of back and forth he then claimed he must have brought it for us and we've not used it. I asked "Oh it's a brand new bottle?" And went to reach back into the drawer, to which he quickly said no he's used it solo.

aibu to think no man uses flavoured lube solo when the normal variety is available? Or goes out of his way to buy it when regularly recieving unlubed oral with no complaints? And the fact he insisted we brought it together hints at him getting me confused with someone else?

It doesn’t matter. It’s been 10 months and you don’t trust him. Walk away and save yourself the hassle of a toxic relationship.

Why stay in a relationship that’s rocky in less than a year?

Yes fair point, the relationship is obviously on its way out and it doesn't change that. I'm just sat here overthinking about this specific thing I'd like some opinions on.

people who cheat will lie their way out as best as possible, especially those who are good at being manipulative. This makes it very hard to know what to do without solid evidence especially if you love them a lot. So my advice is to catch him in the act. Install a spying device in the room you found the lube in or on his phone. That way you have will have the confirmation you need in order to walk away without any hesitation.

Some men do use lube when solo, maybe just maybe he bought it to use both with you and for his own use.
The fact that you have jumped to the conclusion that he has likely been unfaithful because of its existence shows just how little you trust him.

You're less than a year into this relationship maybe consider getting out now before you invest anymore of you time on it.

@Jackreacherstrousers a normal bottle of lube, sure. Wouldn't have even questioned it. But strawberry flavour? For a wank?

He could have bought lube thinking you might use it together and that a flavour could be fun. Then used the lube on his own.
I'm a pretty suspicious person but this on its own wouldn't ring alarm bells for me. But I'm guessing there's a backstory...

To me lube is lube 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just grab the first one I spot for whatever activity is needed. The flavouring doesn’t change anything but the taste, it still completes its purpose.

Im not commenting on if he is cheating or not, but I do think you are over focusing on the lube.

Lube is lube! If he did buy it to use with you also maybe he thought a flavoured one would be fun🤷
Unless you have other niggles about his faithfulness it just seems like a big assumption to make.

Cheats, man or woman, will look you dead in the eye and with a straight face tell you white is black, and they will backchat to a point that it becomes gaslighting, where you yourself start to question THE FACTS.

Also, mostly females, tend to make excuses of the man’s behalf and believe the shit the men come out with, instead of sticking with their instincts and what their gut is telling them.

Once this is achieved, cheats just keeping doing it, they know you “love them” which means they have you and you find it hard to walk away so they can take the piss even more as long as they keep up with the good excuses and lies.

Just don’t get into it all, call this quits and walk away because it’s only you who is going to get hurt, cheaters always end up fine.

After only 10 months in maybe he’s had it longer and has you confused with an ex?

either way you don’t trust him and after just 10 months you are referring to this relationship as on the rocks. Walk away it’s not good for you

Frankly that is bollocks. He had bought it and used it without her. If she had left it behind and he had used it that might be different.

He may have just picked it up by accident. But there's a reason you don't trust him ask yourself why that is. Have you sat and spoke about it without accusations he will only get defensive which is probably why he said he thought you both bought it. If that's the only thing then I don't think you can be sure he's cheating but why after only 10 months and what sounds like regular sex do you think he's cheating? Are you generally insecure? Because sometimes people who are go looking for things that aren't there or maybe subconsciously your looking for a way out.

No that alone wouldn’t make me think he’s cheating, not unless you have other suspicions that makes you think that. It’s possible he had it from a previous relationship and doesn’t want to say or it’s new and a misunderstanding.

You’ve only been together 10 months. My immediate thinking was it’s been there all that time from a previous relationship and he’s trying to save your feelings.

Your immediate thinking was that he’s cheating.

That says all you need to know about your relationship and what you need to do. Are you usually this mistrusting?

I’m sorry how is it bollocks? Your comment just disagrees without actually stating why. I am correct; lube IS lube. It does exactly what it’s intended to do, lubricate things 😂 he could’ve bought it and forgotten about bringing it up everytime they had sex, put it in a drawer and just forgot everytime.