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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend judged me

4 replies

Chassisy · 17/04/2025 21:19

I had a friend years ago. She was ok and we had good times. But other times she would mock me. I was off work sick for a few months as I had caught a bad virus and it had left me with really bad pain in my body. My employer kept pressuring me to return to work and I did twice when I should have rested and recovered.

My friend said I was lazy for not working. I was shocked and disappointed she judged me. She didn’t work for years as was claiming job seekers when she had depression yet I never judged. So I cut ties with her as I felt so ill and the judgement made me feel awful. I recovered a few months later and work full time now.

I wish I spoke up and the time and put her in her place but I was not well enough. I know she would never change but I don’t know why she was friends if she mocked me. She used to mock others too who also cut ties as they had enough and never spoke to her again. It is a shame as they were really nice women.

She doesn’t have many friends and has acquaintances and a domestic abuser boyfriend who she even said it wasn’t going anywhere after 10 years. I just don’t understand why she behaved this way.

Someone on the TV who looks like her has reminded me of her tonight.

OP posts:
Annascaul · 17/04/2025 21:20

Let it go and move on.

Arlanymor · 17/04/2025 21:22

Annascaul · 17/04/2025 21:20

Let it go and move on.

First poster nailed it.

Thelnebriati · 17/04/2025 21:28

Sometimes we revisit a situation we used to be in; I think its our brains way of reminding us not to make the same mistake twice. Its ok to have standards for friendship, and not put up with bullying or nastiness. Its also normal to wonder where people are now - but I'd let that go and not go looking for her. There's no need to reconnect.

Chassisy · 18/04/2025 21:52

Thelnebriati · 17/04/2025 21:28

Sometimes we revisit a situation we used to be in; I think its our brains way of reminding us not to make the same mistake twice. Its ok to have standards for friendship, and not put up with bullying or nastiness. Its also normal to wonder where people are now - but I'd let that go and not go looking for her. There's no need to reconnect.

Thanks for your advice. I know it’s not worth revisiting. Just feel sad someone could be so hurtful. I know I can’t take it personally.

OP posts:
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