Location on Bumble different to where he says

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 2025-04-16T21:25:58+00:00

I've just started dating a guy and we have met a few times and had a lovely time but a few things are bothering me and am not sure if I am over reacting or not. I haven't been back to his yet which I think is strange. He says it's because it's messy and his 2 teenage sons stay with him 50% of the time so it is a bit smelly. But I think this is strange. Also, he has been away for the week and said he is staying with family in the South of England (we are in the North) as one of them is ill. But the app we met on is showing his location at a town 30 minutes away. He is texting daily with updates and in person seems lovely and very into me but I have this slight niggle which I can't tell if it is intuition or being overly suspicious. Any thoughts would be appreciated. has e Alo Also Ahe lso Aso, Alhe so, Alhe so,

InternetUser · 16/04/2025 22:36

Is he consistent with his messaging or does he go quiet eg at evenings or weekends?
Has he stayed overnight with you?

I had a friend who was ‘dating’ someone who would call in on his way home from work to see her. She never went to his house but he had reasons why she couldn’t that she believed. I was always convinced he was married. It fizzled out anyway but that would be my suspicion. I’d give it a bit longer if you like him but if you get more vibes that he’s not single then I’d go with your gut.

Original poster

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 16/04/2025 22:41

Thank you. He is pretty consistent with messages and seems to be very attentive, remembering lots of details about me. But still not sure... I think I'll follow your advice and keep my eyes and ears open

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Original poster

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 16/04/2025 22:42

Sorry, meant to say, no overnights yet but that's more my choice really as have 2 teens at home a lot of the time and like my space!

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Soonenough · 16/04/2025 22:45

He's married.

Original poster

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 16/04/2025 22:46

Yes that's my worry!

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Jamfirstest · 16/04/2025 22:47

Ask him for a pic of a local landmark?

Original poster

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 16/04/2025 22:49

Could he not just send an old pic though? I will try this though. Will have to research a landmark near him.

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Jamfirstest · 16/04/2025 22:52

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 16/04/2025 22:49

Could he not just send an old pic though? I will try this though. Will have to research a landmark near him.

Maybe like....oh I've heard there's a nice beach at blah place - did you have a walk and an ice cream there? Any pics kind of thing

Original poster

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 16/04/2025 22:54

Yes will do that and may just give him up as a wrong un tbh.

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Gabitule · 16/04/2025 23:00

if he is messaging you on other platforms (WhatsApp etc) but his Bumble location shows 30 mins away from your town, it may mean that the last time he accessed bumble was in that nearby town, and that he hasn’t opened the app since he was there. But it could also mean that he is in that town now, 30 mins away from you.

If he is still messaging you on Bumble then he currently is where his location is shown.

Men who are normally untidy/not bothered about cleaning are not usually embarrassed about bringing a woman home. Plus he could tidy up when his sons are not there and invite you over. So the fact that he isn’t inviting you home would make me a bit suspicious. I’ve learned that when it comes to online dating my instincts are usually right, but I also learned to be patient and give the guys a chance to get to know me, choose me, etc.

Dont ask him anything, just observe. If you ask and you get an answer you’re not convinced about you’ll feel none the wiser and will start to doubt yourself. Plus he’ll learn that you’re suspicious and will hide his tracks. Just observe and the truth will reveal itself

Soonenough · 16/04/2025 23:02

He can't bring you home as his wife wouldn't like it . And he probably does have two teenage sons who live there and wouldn't be happy about it either.

Original poster

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 16/04/2025 23:05

Gabitule · 16/04/2025 23:00

if he is messaging you on other platforms (WhatsApp etc) but his Bumble location shows 30 mins away from your town, it may mean that the last time he accessed bumble was in that nearby town, and that he hasn’t opened the app since he was there. But it could also mean that he is in that town now, 30 mins away from you.

If he is still messaging you on Bumble then he currently is where his location is shown.

Men who are normally untidy/not bothered about cleaning are not usually embarrassed about bringing a woman home. Plus he could tidy up when his sons are not there and invite you over. So the fact that he isn’t inviting you home would make me a bit suspicious. I’ve learned that when it comes to online dating my instincts are usually right, but I also learned to be patient and give the guys a chance to get to know me, choose me, etc.

Dont ask him anything, just observe. If you ask and you get an answer you’re not convinced about you’ll feel none the wiser and will start to doubt yourself. Plus he’ll learn that you’re suspicious and will hide his tracks. Just observe and the truth will reveal itself

Wow! You're so wise! We're messaging on WhatsApp but I just happened to look at his profile on Bumble and noticed the location didn't add up. It's a bit disturbing if he isn't where he says because it might mean the sick relative is also made up... which is horrible and if he is married of course!

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Original poster

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 16/04/2025 23:15

Soonenough · 16/04/2025 23:02

He can't bring you home as his wife wouldn't like it . And he probably does have two teenage sons who live there and wouldn't be happy about it either.

I think you are probably right. This is what my gut is telling me. Why are men such shits? Weird thing is he told me he has been married and divorced twice before. Why bother going to all that effort?

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Gabitule · 16/04/2025 23:44

I also find it very suspicious that he is spending a week with relatives because one of them is ill (did he mention which relative, by any chance)? When people are sick the last thing they need is visitors, unless your guy is there to act as the sick relative’s carer. Is he?

Original poster

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 16/04/2025 23:59

It's his sister. Yes it is all a bit suss the more I think about it!

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Catoo · 17/04/2025 00:04

Can you get a friend to msg him on bumble to see if he responds and report back his location?

If you CBA…

Original poster

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 17/04/2025 00:15

You've all pretty much confirmed my suspicions. I think I'm just going to bin him. I don't have time to play sleuth... thanks everyone x

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Mistyglade · 17/04/2025 01:27

2 words. Face time. Then you’ll know where he is.

BoxOfCats · 17/04/2025 02:08

Yep, I would trust your gut on this one.

Have you met any of his friends?

I would be tempted to tell him you don't care at all about the smell and see how he reacts.

333FionaG · 17/04/2025 04:06

He’s married. Get rid.

Changeissmall · 17/04/2025 04:14

If I had a brother who was so incompetent his place was a tip even though he only has older children there part of the week, I don’t think I would be wanting him to come and stay while I was ill.

Probably married. Maybe to one of the affair partners that broke up his other two marriages.

aquashiv · 17/04/2025 04:49

What happens when you call in the evening does he answer

jellyfishperiwinkle · 17/04/2025 05:11

Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingstoo · 16/04/2025 23:15

I think you are probably right. This is what my gut is telling me. Why are men such shits? Weird thing is he told me he has been married and divorced twice before. Why bother going to all that effort?

Show quote history

Married and divorced twice would be a total deal breaker for me.

Gymbunny2025 · 17/04/2025 06:56

If neither of you are happy to have the other over because of teenagers you live with (understandable!) how could this work anyway?!

purplepie1 · 17/04/2025 08:08

look him up on facebook Instagram etc and then find his sisters account and see if she is active. If she’s ill she probably won’t be posting. Also it will give you her location?