Dating six weeks, don't know where I stand

[user0800]

I have been dating/seeing someone I've known of for a while for 6 weeks (both mid thirties) and have seen them about twice a week in that time for dates. We have had 'stay over's 3 separate nights. We are always in continuous contact and he has always asked about my schedule in person to arrange when we are next meeting each other.

Apart from some very flirty and sexual texts now and again, he doesn't tell me how he feels about things, about me or where things are going, and because I am starting to have feelings, this is making me feel uncomfortable. He will sometimes compliment something I wear, or how I have my hair and occasionally my body in the bedroom. But he doesn't call me beautiful, sexy, gorgeous in person or over text.

The last time I stayed over I asked him how long had we been seeing each other now in the hope he might open up more about how he felt, but he was very matter of fact of it and didn't elaborate on how he feels about it.

He has discussed me with his friends and family as he answered a call and told them he was with me and didn't have to explain who I was.

I guess ideally I'd be wanting some reassurance that this is going in the right direction and he is feeling the same as me, not sure if it's still too soon for it or if by now I should have more clarity on things? I just worry he isn't feeling in the same place as I am about things.

It sounds like you fancy him a lot and that’s why you want some re-assurance. It’s perfectly natural to feel that way and want to know how he feels. But I think it’s just a case of seeing how it pans out at this stage. Good luck with it all.

“AlisounOfBath · 16/04/2025 20:46

Judge him by what he does, not what he says. He:
Makes concrete and timely plans to see you
Has told people he cares about that you exist
He keeps in regular and frequent contact with you
After 6 weeks, I think that’s absolutely the best you could hope for! As my Dad always used to say, never trust grand gestures and big words. If he remembers things like how long you’ve been dating, how you like your tea, who the important people are in your life etc, these are the things that count.”

This with bells on. Honestly, OP - he’s doing all the important things right. He’s showing you repeatedly that he wants to spend time with you, he’s making sure it happens and he’s communicating regularly when you’re apart. That should be enough reassurance, tbh. Remember, men who are slick with the compliments have often spent years practising them on other women. That is why actions mean so much more than words. Look at everything he’s getting right, instead of the one thing you think is missing otherwise you could ruin something that sounds very promising.

And even if he was doing the sweet talk, there are no guarantees, whatever he might say. Only time will tell whether he’s a keeper and this is going to work out. That’s the risk we all take when we get into a relationship. But it all sounds very promising so far, based on his actions.