My exh and I separated over 10 years ago...I've had a couple of relationships since then and am much happier than I was with him.
The relationship was abusive. Emotionally, physically and sexually. When we split we had 2 young dcs and his abuse for a couple of years post separation was horrendous. I did counselling with domestic violence service bit a lot of it focused on practical issues such as the dcs, access, court etc.
Recently I've been having really intrusive thoughts about the sexual side of the relationship. He used to manipulate me into having sex by sulking and giving me the silent treatment. One night i really didn't want to. We were due to take the dcs out to a theme park the following day and he told me if i didn't do it, he'd make sure everyone had an awful day the next day. And he would have, so I did it. There were other similar incidents but for some reason this is the main one that i keep replaying over amd over again in my head. I thought I had long moved on from this relationship but I feel stuck in a place of extreme anger amd sadness about this. I've never told anyone about this side of things...I've talked about the physical stuff to my mum, a close friend and my counsellor but not this. I don't know how to let this go amd move on.