Ready to leave my husband

liltreasuretree · 2025-04-16T17:42:38+00:00

…but what can I do? The mortgage is in solely my name and he’s refusing to leave. I’m guessing that because we are married it will make things more tricky?!

ChristmasRager · 16/04/2025 18:53

Do you follow thelegalqueen on instagram? She has very helpful advice on situations like this.

Original poster

liltreasuretree · 16/04/2025 19:02

No I don’t but I shall take a look, thank you

OP posts:

Bittenonce · 16/04/2025 19:17

Unless there's a prenup - Think it's half his, along with all other marital assets (Pensions, Cars, Cash etc etc), whoever's name is on the mortgage. Think it's time to reach an agreement meaning adding up all assets and agreeing who is going to get what. If there was nothing apart from the house - You could sell (and have to give him half the proceeds). Or he could buy you out and pay half. But realistically you've got to come to an agreement with him or you'll end up in a Dombey vs Dombey situation - or killing each other by having to keep living together. If you haven't done it already I'd start by looking at all the assets (and debts) each of you has.

Original poster

liltreasuretree · 16/04/2025 19:24

When I bought the house 8 years ago the solicitor at the time advised me to get him to sign a contract to say that he wouldn’t be entitled to anything if we split up, but we weren’t married then so I’m guessing that won’t count now?
He has no assets. He has no savings, no pension, nothing. And now he’s decided that he can’t work his self employed job because he’s struggling with his mental health so I’ve been left to work full time as well as overtime to cover my bills as well as his, but I’ve had enough as you can imagine.
Hes not nice to be around either, and if I tell him I’m fed up with him not bringing any money into the household he just shuts me down and says I’m just having a go at him all the time :(

OP posts:

Maitri108 · 16/04/2025 19:28

You need legal advice. As it's usually counted as a marital asset, he won't be obliged to leave. Therefore you should get legal advice and start the ball rolling.

Bittenonce · 16/04/2025 19:43

liltreasuretree · 16/04/2025 19:24

When I bought the house 8 years ago the solicitor at the time advised me to get him to sign a contract to say that he wouldn’t be entitled to anything if we split up, but we weren’t married then so I’m guessing that won’t count now?
He has no assets. He has no savings, no pension, nothing. And now he’s decided that he can’t work his self employed job because he’s struggling with his mental health so I’ve been left to work full time as well as overtime to cover my bills as well as his, but I’ve had enough as you can imagine.
Hes not nice to be around either, and if I tell him I’m fed up with him not bringing any money into the household he just shuts me down and says I’m just having a go at him all the time :(

See a solicitor now. With a copy of this contract. Really, you need professional advice, this is beyond well meaning MN amateur hour I’m afraid, and in his position he’s unlikely to just walk out. Does he have family he can go to? If he’s got no money or job, he can’t buy or rent.

Original poster

liltreasuretree · 16/04/2025 19:46

No he has no family local, he would have nowhere to go. I appreciate it isn’t something that can be sorted out overnight but I’ve been asking him for months and months to move out and he just ignores me. He won’t even entertain the conversation.
I just feel so stuck and he’s making me more and more unhappy each day

OP posts:

AttilaTheMeerkat · 16/04/2025 19:53

I would seek legal advice asap re all aspects of separation and divorce.

Bittenonce · 16/04/2025 20:03

I feel for you (both). It must be miserable….
I don’t think you can force him out (unless there’s violence / abuse involved) until a divorce is finalised. He’ll probably cling on as long as he can, however unhappy he also is , as he doesn’t seem to have options other than sleeping in shop doorways, if he’s got MH issues then I’m sure the situation you’re in now will be adding to them.
Get legal advice - now. If you’re sure, then start proceedings (you can do it yourself). But think about if you can pay him to go ‘Here’s the keys to your camper van’??

Imbusytodaysorry · 16/04/2025 20:30

@liltreasuretree the sooner you get the official separation date to a solicitor the better .you could win the lottery tomorow he could try get half. You could pay the mortgage and other 5 years with him there and he get the benefit of it .
Get to a solicitor for advice.

Omgblueskys · 16/04/2025 20:38

Have you started divorce proceedings op as you said you're been asking him for months to leave, you need to see solicitor re paperwork from mortgage too,
Divorce process can take up to 6 months if he agrees that is, longer if he drags it out,
I know gov.uk divorce is fairly easy process cost £598 , but that's if he's in agreement, otherwise it's going be solicitors to battle it out unfortunately, and very costly

EilishMcCandlish · 16/04/2025 20:46

How long have you actually been married? Any kids?

Get yourself to a solicitor pronto with your document and start proceedings. You may be able to argue that you each leave with what you brought to the marriage and that only assets accumulated during the marriage should be classed as matrimonial assets. The longer you leave it, the harder that will get.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 18/04/2025 15:02

liltreasuretree · 16/04/2025 19:24

When I bought the house 8 years ago the solicitor at the time advised me to get him to sign a contract to say that he wouldn’t be entitled to anything if we split up, but we weren’t married then so I’m guessing that won’t count now?
He has no assets. He has no savings, no pension, nothing. And now he’s decided that he can’t work his self employed job because he’s struggling with his mental health so I’ve been left to work full time as well as overtime to cover my bills as well as his, but I’ve had enough as you can imagine.
Hes not nice to be around either, and if I tell him I’m fed up with him not bringing any money into the household he just shuts me down and says I’m just having a go at him all the time :(

If there's been domestic abuse you can get an occupation order to keep him out of the house (although he will probably still have financial rights to equity in it)