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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Breaking up with 2 year old. I need advice!!!

2 replies

evolvingmumma · 16/04/2025 01:16

Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years, and we have a two-year-old daughter together.

Before I had my daughter, I found him messaging other girls behind my back — twice. We got through it, and I stayed (I know I should have run for the hills). I told him before my daughter was born that if it ever happened again, I would be gone for good.

It’s happened again. I’ve found messages where he’s been speaking to loads of girls on social media behind my back — telling them he loves them, wants to see them, even meeting up with them.

This time, I’ll hate myself if I don’t leave — as hard as it is.

Because of his career, we’ve always lived away from friends and family. He moves around a lot because of work. I’ve decided I will be taking my daughter back to our hometown so we can be surrounded by family again.

But every time I go to leave, all it takes is for her to say, “I love you, Dadda,” or “Dadda take me park,” or “Daddy this, Dadda that,” and I’m just reminded how much her little life is about to change.

I need to know: will it really impact her every day at this age? She hasn’t gone more than a few days without seeing him in two years. I know he won’t be able to see her as much because of work.

It’s just so heartbreaking, and it’s what’s been stopping me from going.

But I think the right thing to do would be to leave… and start my life all over again. I gave up my career due to all the moving. I just want my daughter — and me — to be happy.

OP posts:
Britneyfan · 16/04/2025 01:55

It will definitely be an adjustment for her but she will adapt to a new normal especially at this young age. It IS heartbreaking but unfortunately your boyfriend has made bad decisions leaving you without a realistic alternative here I think other than to split up. I think you’re totally right to think this is the only way forward for you at this stage.

Hopefully he will be in agreement with your moving elsewhere with her to be close to family support if he moves around a lot for work. Just be aware that if he doesn’t agree he could technically take you to court to ask them to make a ruling on a relocation - ultimately he can’t dictate where you live but this is his child too and he can object to her being moved significantly far away from where you all live currently, especially if that changes the amount of time he is realistically going to be able to spend with her. And that’s something you should definitely strongly consider yourself when making decisions about the future. Ultimately if it ends up at court they are only interested in what’s best for the child and not you, harsh as it sounds, Having said that if he moves a lot for work it will definitely weaken any argument that it’s super important for her to stay put where he lives now. Hopefully you can work this out amicably in a way that works the best it can in this situation for all 3 of you.

2cats1dog2babies · 16/04/2025 02:20

Just remember you didn't make this decision, he did. It'll be an adjustment for her for sure but one she won't remember.

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