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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dislike my sisters but we share a business!

13 replies

Shelley565 · 15/04/2025 13:37

So as the title says, me and my two sisters share a business and own a house together, with a mortgage, but we cannot work together without arguing. I'm starting to really want to avoid being near them ever.
We are very different people, with different situations. I have two children aged 4 and 9 and a job I work hard at outside of the business. I help where I can with the business but don't get paid at all from it. I am single now and I also live in the house we own together and pay a third of the mortgage off.
My younger sister has no kids, has a part time job as well and helps run the business but also doesnt get paid from the business.
My older sister, who is the biggest problem, has recently had a baby but for years hasn't had a job outside of the business. She's had thousands from 'our' business and built herself a small house. She's the only one of us who pays herself from the business money but obviously is expected to do more work on the business. Our mum does a fair amount of work on the business too really, so the pressure on my sister isn't too high. Recently though she's started kicking off saying I don't deserve my third as I help less.. but shes been taking for years from the business. I am not allowed any access to business accounts, bookings accounts (we have two holiday lets). I have offered to deal with the accounts, clean more, do the laundry and iron it all. But I don't agree that if I do that that she should still be paid or that me and my other sister and mum should be paid too if we work equally. Why should she be paid and we don't?
This hasn't gone down well and she kicks off every time I mention seeing the bank account for the business or even offering more help as she knows she's got it good and if i help more she doesnt deserve to be paid.. just wants to call me lazy. (Which I'm not) they have full access and control over everything and I'm sick of it. Im supposed to be an equal partner but im not and any of my odeas have always been bulldozed over anyway by them.. considered not good enough. Then my offers of help are met with.. but you can't do this and you can't do that.. when really im more than capable. They are hard on me and i think they enjoy having someone to belittle. I'm so sick of it. They belittle me all the time. Nothing I do is ever good enough and I actually work harder than both of them.. raising two kids, working my job, looking after the home and garden, helping our dad with vat returns and helping there when I can! I feel like I'm running on fumes now and I'm always angry.
I can't break away and stop running the business with them as I'd lose my third share in everything but hiw do yoy work with people who are just outright horrible. If anyone knows please let me know. Just needed to vent here

OP posts:
topcat2014 · 15/04/2025 13:48

What legal form does this business take - a partnership?
Is there a partnership agreement?
What does "good" look like for you?
What type of resolution do you want?

Probably a good idea to think about this first and try and work towards it

Scrowy · 15/04/2025 13:51

Is it a farm (with holiday lets)?

middleagedandinarage · 15/04/2025 13:53

No advice but in a very similar situation so interested to hear peoples replies.

Dozycuntlaters · 15/04/2025 15:38

I don't understand. Why would you work for a company and not get paid?

myplace · 15/04/2025 15:47

You really need to take stock.
You need to know what your liabilities are.

You need a family meeting to discuss a way forward where you all understand the situation. You could be liable for a third of the cost of reroofing, for example. It could prevent you getting a mortgage, for example. You need to do some research and find out what is going on, not because you don’t like your eldest sister, but because it’s the responsible thing to do.

Approach it from that perspective, and try and reassure her you aren’t trying to take her job or accuse her of doing anything wrong, you just need to know your financial position so you can make good choices and plan for the future.

DelphiniumBlue · 15/04/2025 15:50

So, to clarify, you live in the house owned by all 3 of you with your own DC ( and DH?) The other sisters live elsewhere.
One sister has taken a lot of money out of the business ( how? as wages? who decided she could take it?) and the other sister neither gets paid nor gets a house to live in.
Your mum works for the business but also doesn't get paid.
You help your dad do VAT etc ( for a different business?)
You say you one of the business owners but you don't have access to the accounts. So you have no idea if the business is making a profit or not, or if it's in debt. Do you stand to lose the house if the business fails or loses money?
If I were you I'd be insisting on seeing the accounts. Is it you sister or your parents denying you access? And who owns the assets of the business? There are so many things wrong here, and a lot to be untangled. But you know this.

jolota · 15/04/2025 15:54

I'm confused as to what your share is worth if you're not actually getting paid? How would you benefit from it? The sale of the business?
How is your sister taking money out? As dividends or as an employee?
Are you all living together?
Difficult to advise with little understanding of how its set up.
I also work in a family business but don't intend to be involved after my parents retire because I know that trying to run it in conjunction with my sibling would just destroy our relationship and I'm just not interested in that.

BananaSpanner · 15/04/2025 15:59

If you’re after meaningful advice, I think you’re going to have to be more specific about the nature of the business and everyone’s role in it because it sounds very confusing so far.

mismomary · 15/04/2025 16:03

This all sounds confusing and frustrating. I think you need to sell your third to your sisters. Maybe then agree a rent for the house. Or can the house be your third share of the business? You need to separate your assets and work for yourself.

Spirallingdownwards · 15/04/2025 16:05

BananaSpanner · 15/04/2025 15:59

If you’re after meaningful advice, I think you’re going to have to be more specific about the nature of the business and everyone’s role in it because it sounds very confusing so far.

She said they let out 2 holiday properties.

Spirallingdownwards · 15/04/2025 16:07

It's clearly not working so I would ask that the business be sold and the proceeds split. Then I would also sell the property you live in splitting proceeds or buy the others out.

Time to separate all finances if one won't share details of your business with you! You need these details for your tax records.

WeeOrcadian · 15/04/2025 16:51

Do you have any sort of formal contract or agreement?

Scrowy · 15/04/2025 20:01

It all makes perfect sense if this is a farm.

This is why farming families are up in arms about the inheritance tax stuff because often one farm business is sustaining several generations of the same family even if it's indirectly and there isn't an asset to sell on for cash when the older generation dies because it's still being used in its entirety as a farm by the next generation.

If it is a farm it's likely no one is getting paid but everyone is expected to chip in with the work in some way. Whether that's cleaning and managing the farm holiday lets, doing the paperwork, doing actual family work etc

No-one can take their 'share' out without breaking up the farm.

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