Secure and dismissive avoidant attachment styles

[CM97]

8 months in and the cycle of being close and then him throwing himself into work rather than making time for us is becoming a bit repetitive. Out of interest we’ve done attachment style questionnaires… I’m secure and he’s dismissive avoidant.

Any positive stories of being in a relationship with someone who has a DA attachment style?

Do events in his childhood fit with a dysregulation of attachment? Will he talk about it? If there isn’t an obvious tie in with his family background or life events, I’m not sure if set too much store by a questionnaire. If there is a relevant background there, it sounds like a lot, TBH. How old are you both?

I wouldn't put too much store into attachment styles either, too broad brush with too little investigation. Answering for yourself isn't necessarily going to bring up accurate results.

Throwing himself into work could just mean there is something important needs to be done or they enjoy that bit of their work. We can all do this, bugger all to do with an attachment style.

If it's not working out for you, whatever the online diagnosis, you are probably not compatible, you have a choice to make as to what suits you best.