I've name changed for this. Not sure why I'm writing this as I know I can't resolve this impossible situation and I just have to get over it.
In my early 20's I had a fling with a married man for a year (K) - it was fun at the time (wrong I know) but we went our separate ways when his wife fell pregnant.
8 years later he got back in touch as he had separated from his wife a year before and we dated for 18 months. He then went back to his wife as he missed the kids too much. Broke both of us but I supported his decision.
5 years later I then met someone who I moved in with and I fell pregnant a year later. I don't regret this but never really had the same connection as I did with K. K and I have had the odd text and coffee over the years and he has long since divorced and he has had a few relationships since but nothing long term.
Two months ago K had a life threatening episode and he said he had to see me. He is ok now and we met up last week. He clearly loves me and I have never fallen out of love with him. I so desperately want to follow my heart and be selfish and leave my partner as we are just friends really with no physical relationship but on the other hand I don't want to split the family unit for my DS.
I'm know I will do the right thing and stay but my heart aches for him and I've loved him from the first time I met him - we have just have a bond and get each other. Why is life so bloody hard!