Vulnerable adult in family, being coerced. Can I report anywhere?

[mrsjonesliveshere]

I have a relative who is in a coercive and abusive marriage. She's not a spring chicken, she's late 60s (68 I think) and has been married to him for nearly 20 years. Just the 2 of them at home.
She's always been the moldable, easy to manipulate sort. Never shown any real backbone or courage to stand up to things that are wrong. She blindly agrees with everything her husband says. He decides that they watch, what the read and everything else.
I have noticed that she's become gradually brainwashed by him. It's really depressing to hear her espouse racist, xenophobic and other generally pig-ignorant rhetoric. She never used to be like that. She raised all her children to be decent, and I know they're embarassed by what she's been reduced to.
I saw her 4 children at weekend and they were all saying the same thing. They've all been gradually alienated and no longer bother visiting. To visit her is to sit awkwardly whilst her husband rants at the TV about "immigrants", "Muslims", "gays" and "woke idiots". She just blindly agrees with him, as though too scared not to.
We believe she's vulnerable and there is a history of domestic abuse dating about 15 years ago when the husband used to have a serious drink problem. In fairness to him, he's quit the drink now but her life still seems miserable being force-fed such vile bigotry and not having the confidence that she used to have years ago in saying "no, that's not right" or "why should Muslims all be deported?". Seems to buy into his claim that all Muslims are "foreign" and here to cause mayhem and turn the UK into a sharia state. As well as "they all hate women".
Is there anywhere to turn for some support for this vulnerable relative? Police are aware of the husband from previous reports of DA (which she refused to persue, as "wanted to keep the peace".).

Contact Social Services to say that she is vulnerable and in an abusive relationship. Telephone the duty desk and they will allocate it to the team who works with 'older persons'.

I am worried that my brother is in a coercive relationship too. He has become quite an unpleasant character who used to be kind and thoughtful. His character is similar to your relative. Won't speak up and mirrors his wife's awful behaviour which includes racism and criticizing everyone. She has pushed everyone away with her comments, so he has no one left apart from our parents who I think just feel sorry for him. Should probably just leave him to get on with it but I feel sad that he has got so low in life that he thinks it's all normal.

What is it that makes you feel she is more vulnerable than any other 68 year old woman?

Adult Social Care are unlikely to get involved unless she has e.g MH issues or mild learning disabilities, or a physical disability which are a contributing factor to her not being able to make the decision to leave.

Is she unhappy? Do you feel she wants to leave the situation but can't?

What makes you think she is vulnerable? Sounds like the age when retired unhappy couples just become worse

You can refer. In my experience they'll do a capacity assessment and if she has capacity they'll say it's her choice and leave it there.

I dont think you can report someone for having views different to yours.

Unfortunately, copying others unpleasant opinions doesn’t count as coercion. If she met you alone and said “I don’t really think that but I have to agree with him”, that might be coercion. But just being influenced by living in the same house isn’t really an issue that social services can fix.

You can contact adult social services but the bar is quite high for them to be considered vulnerable/lacking capacity. There has to be a significant reason why they cannot safeguard themselves (Eg. Significant mental impairment etc.) Other than that, adults with capacity are allowed to make unwise decisions. Good luck.

You can contact adult social services but the bar is quite high for them to be considered vulnerable/lacking capacity. There has to be a significant reason why they cannot safeguard themselves (Eg. Significant mental impairment etc.) Other than that, adults with capacity are allowed to make unwise decisions. Good luck.

In Scotland, you could raise an adult protection concern, however this would be subject to the adult meeting at least one aspect of the three point test. If this is a person with capacity who is able to safeguard themselves and whose ability to safeguard themselves isn't impaired by illness or disability, then adult protection legislation won't apply.

Frustrating as it is to watch, a spouse in an unhappy marriage (it sounds like you're saying there's no abuse?) or being 'brainwashed' to share their partner's shitty views isn't coercion