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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

volatile relationship with son

12 replies

geordie12 · 13/04/2025 15:21

I have put a very long post up previously and a lovely person did a summary which I've tweaked,,

I'm a mother of two adult sons. I had a good relationship with both growing up, but after battling breast cancer and trying to protect them from it, I may have overcompensated materially. my eldest son is doing well and I'm close with him, his partner, and their children. My youngest son, however, has had a series of rocky relationships.
in adult years I've had a tumultuous relationship with him, marked by repeated fallouts—especially after he had a child with a possessive partner, and later with a new girlfriend who is hostile toward you. He has distanced himself repeatedly, especially when he feels he can’t control the situation. He currently refuses to speak to me and he's also had a row with his ex and now doesn't see his daughter he speaks to his father but this whole situation is breaking my heart

OP posts:
Queeneel · 13/04/2025 15:22

Why are you reposting?

Maitri108 · 13/04/2025 15:37

Are you saying that your youngest son is a spoiled brat?

Elcad · 13/04/2025 16:15

Could you try to be there for your grandchildren instead then?

geordie12 · 13/04/2025 17:07

Queeneel · 13/04/2025 15:22

Why are you reposting?

because my first post was too long and people said it was too long

OP posts:
geordie12 · 13/04/2025 17:08

Maitri108 · 13/04/2025 15:37

Are you saying that your youngest son is a spoiled brat?

yes he is but the whole situation breaks my heart

OP posts:
Queeneel · 13/04/2025 18:08

It sounds like he’s taken a very conscious decision to distance himself and his child from you OP

Respect that

Maitri108 · 13/04/2025 18:18

geordie12 · 13/04/2025 17:08

yes he is but the whole situation breaks my heart

I would get in contact with the mother of his child and try to continue to see your grandchild.

There's not much you can do if someone doesn't want to contact you. All you can do is emotionally distanced yourself so their behaviour doesn't upset you so much.

Queeneel · 13/04/2025 18:25

Maitri108 · 13/04/2025 18:18

I would get in contact with the mother of his child and try to continue to see your grandchild.

There's not much you can do if someone doesn't want to contact you. All you can do is emotionally distanced yourself so their behaviour doesn't upset you so much.

Oh the Op has fallen out with the mother too!

Maitri108 · 13/04/2025 18:47

Queeneel · 13/04/2025 18:25

Oh the Op has fallen out with the mother too!

I don't know. She says that her son has fallen out with her and no longer sees his child.

Queeneel · 13/04/2025 18:53

Maitri108 · 13/04/2025 18:47

I don't know. She says that her son has fallen out with her and no longer sees his child.

She describes the mother as “possessive”

I am thinking they aren’t exactly.,, close

Ilikeadrink14 · 13/06/2025 13:49

With the best will in the world, you can’t help some people!

DearAbi · 29/09/2025 12:39

Hegoing through a lot right now and doesn't want to bother you or upset you talking to you about his problems .knowing you just passed through something yourself.hes trying to avoid problems with you because he loves you and he's trying to fix himself and all is probably hard for him just tell.him you love him give him a hug invite him to go out with you ...and tell.him.that you there for anything he needs and that you support him he will know that you really care for him

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