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Original poster

Can't move on after betrayal

4 replies

MyRosesAreDead · 13/04/2025 13:07

Hi, was with my ex for 3 years, very happy, thought we were going to be together forever, we had a whole future planned out for us. Thought I'd found the one after a string of crappy relationships. I was so happy with him in a content lovey dovey kind of way. Felt like I was blessed, we got on so well, he was everything I ever wanted. I felt truly loved for the first time in my life. I thought he was different etc... You get the picture..
Anyway after 3 years we had a big argument and he told me that our relationship was over, which devastated me. After some further discussion where I gained insight into his thoughts it's apparent that he never actually loved me. He saw me and our relationship in quite a different way to how I saw it.
It's been a year since we separated but I am really struggling to get over it. How can I ever trust anyone again? It was such a big betrayal, it's wrecked my self esteem and although I feel lonely I am avoiding getting close to anyone, including friends. I think I might be depressed. How can I move forward with my life?

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 13/04/2025 13:22

I would advise counseling to help you gain clarity and to get support and advice on how to rebuild your self esteem. If you think you may be depressed then please have a chat with your GP to see if you could benefit for anti depressants.
It's hard rebuilding your confidence after you have had this kind of revelation , especially when you believed things to be very different. You will feel you need to trust yourself and your judgement again and counselling can really help you to do so.

Original poster
MyRosesAreDead · 13/04/2025 14:03

Seaoftroubles · 13/04/2025 13:22

I would advise counseling to help you gain clarity and to get support and advice on how to rebuild your self esteem. If you think you may be depressed then please have a chat with your GP to see if you could benefit for anti depressants.
It's hard rebuilding your confidence after you have had this kind of revelation , especially when you believed things to be very different. You will feel you need to trust yourself and your judgement again and counselling can really help you to do so.

Thank you for your reply, I would really like to have counselling but can't afford to have private counselling. I am psyching myself up to go and see the GP, even that feels like a difficult. I'm not sure what I will be offered counselling-wise, if anything. I think it's mostly CBT type stuff. I don't know how I feel about antidepressants, the thought of taking them is a bit scary but I do accept they may be helpful.
I do need to rebuild my confidence, I feel like it's shattered my world and broken me.

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 13/04/2025 14:53

I think it would be beneficial for you to and have a chat to your GP anyway. You don't have to have A/Ds if you don't wan't them, it's your choice. You don't know what counselling may be available until you try and there are other options bdsides CBT. Where l live you can self refer for low cost counselling, so you may even find that's available.

Original poster
MyRosesAreDead · 13/04/2025 19:15

Seaoftroubles · 13/04/2025 14:53

I think it would be beneficial for you to and have a chat to your GP anyway. You don't have to have A/Ds if you don't wan't them, it's your choice. You don't know what counselling may be available until you try and there are other options bdsides CBT. Where l live you can self refer for low cost counselling, so you may even find that's available.

Yes, I need to do something

OP posts:
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