TW Need advice for friends DV situation

[heartbroken22]

Friend called the police yesterday as her husband slapped her hard twice. He ran off.

previous incident 6 months ago he hit her and someone else called the police

she’s taken him back. He hit her because she couldn’t give him 100 pounds a month for his car insurance. Pathetic. I think she’s being financially abused too. What do I do? She was adamant she’d leave him but she changed her mind later and was worried he had committed suicide. He has attempted suicide prior to the relationship. His mum found him in the bathroom.

I don’t think there’s much you can do if she won’t leave other than stick around and listen when she needs it if you can. Maybe contact women’s aid and see if they can offer some proper advice though as they will deal with situations like this all the time

You can’t do anything but be there for her and support her to get the right support to leave her abuser. Speak to women’s aid. Perhaps go along with her to their drop in centre and ask to speak to an advisor. Also get her to read this

archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/mode/1up?view=theater

Abusers use the threat of suicide to tie their victims to them. It’s part of the abuse. It’s very unlikely he will kill himself but in any case that would be his choice and not her responsibility. She needs to harden her heart against him and get away before he does irreparable physical damage to her or even kills her. But it’s very hard when she’s held in place by feelings of loyalty to him.

He’s come back to her but I’m having so much anxiety that he’ll hit her again or worse. If im feeling like this I wonder how she’s feeling. I know survivors have this cycle before they leave finally. But what else can I do.

From someone who has been in a relationship like this, you can do anything. She won’t leave until she’s ready to. All you can do is be there for her when she realises

Social services are involved. She keeps saying to me but he’s a good dad to our baby. How’s he a good dad when he slapped her whilst she held the baby?

he said to her he slapped her because a wife is supposed to respect her husband and not put him down. WTH.

He will hit her again and he'll get worse as well. There's nothing you can do except give her the details for the National Domestic Abuse Helpline.