Husband threatening to leave

[Superma]

I'm really worried and would apprciate any advice. My husband and I have been married 20yrs now and have a 14yr old and a 6yr old. He isnt happy in this country and wants to go back to his country. I am from the the uk and this is home for me..he has made it clear that he will wait until 10years when the kids are grown up and he will leave back to his country. This really scares me, i do not work and i have health problems. I really depend on him for a lot of things. I cant think of leaving my children and going to another country, i want to have a relationship with them. I see my husband doesnt really care if he has any relationship with them. He is cold with me and our relationship is non existant. Even if i did go to his country with him i dont feel im in a secure loving relationship. He has told me clearly after the kids are grown I will look at what i want...what .makes me happy. Where does that leave me? Im so scared...i have no friends and hardly any family just my elderly mother who needs my help..plus my health problems are making things worse. I should have mentioned that one of my sons is autistic and this is also adding to a very stressful family life. Any advice would be really appreciated..I am going through depression... Thank you!

I’m sorry OP. This sounds like a terrible situation. What I would say is don’t even consider leaving the UK under these circumstances. Moving counties is very hard (I have lived in 4 different counties) and I have a supportive partner. I think it’s a good idea to think about how you can become financially self sufficient as not sure how sustainable your relationship is long term. Why does he want to leave? Have you asked him what he thinks will happen to the relationship if he leaves? Is he saying these things just because he’s unhappy or does he mean it?

You need to get legal advice to find out where you stand if you divorce. You may be entitled to a share of all assets.

You can also work out of you're entitled to any benefits.

Your husband can't just demand you leave the country.

Get legal advice, then it would be so long, farewell, Auf Wiesersehen, Fuck Off. life is too short to be on an unhappy relationship. Let him go, sounds like he could be doing more damage just being there out of duty than love.

You cannot move until your children are adults. Moving even within the country is so disruptive when they are developing and forming relationships with their peers. It takes a very outgoing well balanced youngster to be able to up sticks and easily resettle.
Can you consider this as a possibility in the distant future?

Also op would you be covered by health insurance if you did consider moving abroad, you stated having health issues so need to think about the insurance to cover the cost,
You really have to think about your and children's needs , maybe worth cutting your losses now and get him go , here you have nhs and financial support if he does leave, but what would you have abroad,