are there actually any nice men out there then? (or am I asking too much)

[davidtennantsmistress]

... if so where are they? after all the stuff that's been on MN over the recent nights, not to mention DP and I having a mega barny tonight.

are there actually any nice ones out there, n if so are they single/where did you meet your DH's/P's?

all I want is the following on my list:

to feel loved & special to said person,
to feel like nothing else matters apart form us n the kids.

is it really too much to ask, to want the fairytale after a shitty few years being married. DP will prob ring me at some point tomorrow but after being asked consistently for the last week 'am I enough for you' I really don't think I have the energy for it anymore. n we had started off so well together as well - we're both tired, n prob need a break from each other already - but we talk every night for at least 2-3 hours +.

and yes i'm prob still in love with my XH - even if he has been a total tosser.

there are lots of nice men out there most of them are living with their boyfriend but a very small number of them have very very very lucky wives!

Have a read of this thread. it will restore your faith that there are actually lots of decent men out there.

I'm losing hope.

Though it's not quite the blow it could be given that I no longer believe in nice relationships. ('Scuse the bitterness....counselling starts next week )

I do find women sexually attractive. At present I wouldn't have a relationship with another female because
a) I no longer believe in nice relationships and
b) I'm fearful that my opinion of whether or not there are nice women out there will take a nosedive (currently believe there are many, myself being one of them ;)) if it were to go tits up....therefore leaving me at odds with the human race as a whole. Inclusive, potentially and probably, of myself

Even tho mine is shit at housework he's lovely everywhere else honest!

@ wileEC & SallyS.

Come on girls - everyone has bad days and good days.
The bad ones have good days, the good ones have bad days.

I don't know any women I can trust, any more than men I can trust. Except my mum. And God forbid I should find her attractive lol.

My DH is lovely, entirely supportive of me and holds up his end really well and I want to grow old with him, but he came with a lot of baggage that after 11 years is increasingly difficult to tolerate.

lmao@ lw! think i'm destined to be alone!

BF is trying to get me to take a walk on the dark side as she calls it, and tbh, i'm the same wouldn't trust any woman! i've come to the conclusion now the only people I can trust is myself and my family, n no one else. (which is a sad state of affairs really)

DP is not talking to me today, and has blocked me on msn (we have a joint account as well & joint email for stuff we were selling which he uses a lot still - wouldn't mind but said email address also had various emails from dating sites which fair enough he'd not read but were from this month )

I guess i'm being hot headed again.

lol@ sally & willie, I think you're right you know no nice ones out there, althou I have been asked for a coffee by an old friend tomorrow morning who is nice. (then again not really interested! lol)

I got a lovely one too. Think he's brill. say and does the right things at the right times ( most of the time) and I wouldn't swap him for the world.

But I did kiss a few frogs and married a Troll before I met my now DH.

( we met online)

My new man (well 9 months new!) is totally lovely. He makes me feel special, he is mature, intelligent, generous, and looks pretty gorgeous too! I had years of struggling with ex H, and couldn't imagine meeting someone so lovely.

He had just separated from his wife when I first met him, so was lucky to meet him when I did, or he would have been snapped up pretty quickly!

they aren't all shits- my DH is kind, intelligent, calm, funny and knows how to use a hoover. I met him by chance in the street (i'm not a hooker- honest!)

lol. well me n DP have split up this am. by text I might add - the bastard.

and now XH is making noises again so god knows!

Sorry to hear that, DTM. How long had you been together?
Would you get back with your ex?

I know this is a bit negative but I was lying in bed last night (bit upset for various reasons) thinking that since I was 15 on the man/relationship front it has largely been a long rollercoaster ride of crap, angst and heartache with a few high spots along the way.

15-17 first proper boyfriend got in trouble with police and got sent away for three months. Stuck by him to the horror of my family but did see the light in the end. He hs not been in trouble since AFAIK.

little gap in between where I played the field (dating only)

19 -26 Went out with and lived with this guy, bought a house together and we eventually split because I wanted to move away from home town and he didn't. He seemed to age 100 years when we moved in together.

27-30 Moved away from home town and studied for degree played the field. Nothing that serious until

31 - met man who I think is love of life. Wnet out for a while. Ended over something very silly I flounced, it backfired and he was stubborn if I remember rightly, but chemistry and everything else amazing. Devasted. Swore off men for ever after him I was really so hurt.

HOWEVER

32 Met exDH (on rebound?) got married, two DSs (now 11 and 6). Separated 2006, divorced 2007. Our marriage very difficult due to incompatibility and his controlling and ultimately destructive ways.

2007 July met ex again (love of my) life seeing him again since then but still a bit bumpy for various external reasons. Not sure what the outcome will be.

Along way have been raped, had an abortion, had arm twisted behind back for refusing (not by any of these men I hasten to add)

All I would like is a mutually loving relationship with a guy I love and respect who will make me feel loved and respected. Is that too much to ask. Maybe it will come one day to me?

Sorry maybe TMI, hope not too depressing but very cathartic. And maybe the result of not wanting to settle when younger for a comfortable and predictable life.

pc - er a little under 4 months, for the last 2-3 weeks there has been so many alarm bells going off, with him starting to get controlling/manipulative & tbh I don't need the hassle.

re XH, er well, over the last week, i've realised (pretty much since my family & friend met XP actually) that I am still in love with my H, for how long I don't know, but it's true, I asked him today (XH) if there was something about me that makes me unloveable or something, he said no, don't worry about him (meaning XP) so I said yeah but it's not just him is it?? XH then said yeah well we all know you don't mean me, we all know you hate me, so I said do I? you're my husband and i'd start over again, but I know it's not what you want is it?

(once before I asked & he come straight back & said no we're over no chances) this time he's said nothing, he came over & had a small chat about XP and XH said not to worry.

my gut feeling on XH is he's confused, ut on the other hand I think he also wants to have his cake n eat it (something he won't be able to have with me) but I would start over right from the beginning with him, the dating etc thing. have left the ball in his court - he's not said yes, he's not said no, but for now this is a man free zone, I've decided, no men now until at least xmas, need some me time to heal.

jesus city lover - n I thought my life so far has been haggared. do you want to join me on a no men sex ban until xmas? ((hugs))

i'm going to hold out for the one perfect man now, the one who's either david from bones, or david tennant. I want the fairytale n to be treated like a princess, so nothing less will suffice now.

I think a lot of "nice" men - and there are a lot - get overlooked because

a) They don't look like Brad Pitt

b) Their wallets are not fat enough.

ud - hey i'm not bothered by wallet size, and ave looks will suit me i'm not that picky - jsut as long as they're respectful and treat me good (ie no abusing) in any way shape or form.

My new dp isn't Brad Pitt (or even Brad Pittesque), he's short and overweight and has no money, but he is the nicest man I know. He tries very hard to be a good person.

Citylover, not TMI. It goes to show there are a lot of wrong'uns out there if we are not careful. What a shame none of are wise until we've had wisdom knocked into us by experience. There are lovely men out there though. I know three, and I don't have a huge circle of friends, so there must be lots more

dp started out perfectly, but over the last 2 weeks or so he's really changed, pretty much into the same sort of person as my very first boyfriend (I was 14, and he was 21). better off out of it as that particular relationship was really really not healthy & screwed me up. (hence XH! lol)

Sounds like you had a lucky escape there then. Onwards & upwards!

I've got one.

Not sharing him.

Sorry.

DTM - am I being really thick here (very possible!) or have you been dating boyfriend for only a short while? I seem to remember you talking about dating etc as recently as 6 months back but I could be confusing you with someone else. If this is a recent relationship, can I be a bit cheeky and suggest that 'joint MSN accounts' are a bit OTT. In fact, if only dating, I would consider joint anything really weird

Sorry if I have got this wrong and caused offense.

Shit, just read the whole thread .

So - you have been dating for only a few months.

i have to say davidts i was strugling to work this out as well

you seem to have got in deep very quick

yeah it's odd, it's an old account of his which we were using as a joint a.c for reasons I don't really want to go into on here.

zip - I was content to play it by ear - i'm a v much in my own time girl, he was pushy from the off. v much so. I was wanting increasingly to ahve my own space etc and every time I asked for it he got shittier.

better off alone in a cardboard box. as JK says!