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Original poster

Husband doesn't seem to think of me...

42 replies

YOUSEECOLOURS · 12/04/2025 23:18

My husband is away for a weekend with his cousins. Absolutely not problem that he's gone and glad that he's having a good time.... But is it too much to ask for him to just check in and see how me and the kids are doing? I did know his plane had landed until his mum told me, constant Instagram posts of the beers etc but not even a 'kids go to bed OK?' kind of text. Tonight I messaged to say I was feeling really poorly and our 4 year old wasn't playing ball but she was off to bed soon. Nothing....i don't expect him to stop having fun, or interrupt his night.... But is one text in 4 hours really too much to show he's thinking of us? I don't think I'm expecting much, I don't want him glued to his phone, calling and texting... But if he can make time for social media then can't he make time for us? My daughter asked what he did today and I had to make something up and say he missed her 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
dottydaily · 13/04/2025 00:51

he is on hoilday,,,tell him all about your time when he is home....and expect same from him when you take a hoilday away from children..

ChessorBuckaroo · 13/04/2025 00:55

ShouldIEvenBother · 13/04/2025 00:45

This^ I don't know any woman who would go away for a weekend, post on SM but not contact her partner who she has kids with (her own family!). I find it weird that a bloke would also post on SM and not contact his partner who he has kids with (his own family!).

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Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=464s&v=aHR56_ipYO8

WTF99 · 13/04/2025 00:57

Ignore him and let him miss you enjoy himself. He'll be ready for the comforts of home soon enough

Eenameenadeeka · 13/04/2025 00:58

I don't think you're wrong to expect him to send you a message

zeibesaffron · 13/04/2025 01:00

DH would text to say I am here and we would probably get a text a day. Which is what he wants to do and it works for us.

BlondiePortz · 13/04/2025 01:03

Pallisers · 13/04/2025 00:40

In fairness, blondiePortz, it is because what you are describing is so far removed from how many of us live our lives. I don't think you are trying to be cool or anything but it is fascinating to me that a parent of small children would go away for a weekend and not check in once with home. Equally fascinating that they wouldn't want to.

We may check in or we may not neither of us expects it it had been working for nearly 30 years can't see it changing

ShouldIEvenBother · 13/04/2025 01:06

ChessorBuckaroo · 13/04/2025 00:55

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I remember this case, utterly horrific and tragic - that poor little child left alone without either of her parents.

RedRock41 · 13/04/2025 01:11

Let him go be free for his weekend. He’ll likely text or ring tomorrow. If things have been off lately he maybe needing a break from you and kids. If you are on duty then save any news for when he’s back. Would irritate me to get a text saying you don’t feel well and kids playing up - what can he do about it? 4 hours a ridiculously short space of time. Keep yourself busy instead of ruminating and why lie to DC? That as someone said is bit over dramatic. He’s enjoying himself and probably on the shot. If he gets in touch tomorrow don’t mention it. Not surprised he doesn’t check in if the contact a miserable experience. No sense saying hope you’re having a good time then to guilt trip and whine rest of message. Deffo schedule your own time away too.

FidosMum84 · 13/04/2025 09:41

Sounds like he’s on a holiday from all of his responsibilities as a husband and father. That must be nice for him.
Make sure you book some time away when he’s back so he can return the favour. I’m guessing you’ll be checking the DC’s are ok though.
Set some boundaries as well, this doesn’t sound like he pulls his weight when he’s at home either.

StMarie4me · 13/04/2025 10:00

You’re being dramatic and clingy. You’re a grown up. Get on with life and look forward to seeing him when he gets back.
And when you are out and he has the kids, don’t be texting him all the time then either. Even happily married people are still separate individuals.

Cynic17 · 13/04/2025 10:00

Pallisers · 13/04/2025 00:36

so if you go away for a weekend you don't contact your children or your husband - whether they are sick or well. I actually don't know anyone in real life who behaves like that.

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I do, because I am independent person. Same if he goes away. He knows I am fine - and if I wasn't, I certainly wouldn't say anything to him and spoil his trip! Who wants a whiny partner?

NewAgeNewMe · 13/04/2025 10:03

ShouldIEvenBother · 13/04/2025 00:13

Imagine a world where a mother goes away for a weekend with her cousins. She posts social media pictures of the wine and cocktails but doesn't bother to message her husband and ask how everyone is INCLUDING HER KIDS.

You'll have to imagine it because it doesn't happen.

Bull. I would send one message to say I’d arrived and another when I’d passed security on my return. Why on earth would I message to check my kids were ok when with their perfectly capable dad?

weareallalittlebitthesame · 13/04/2025 13:10

So he messaged his mother and let her know he arrived safely and has been posting on social media but hasn’t checked in with you at all? Of course that’s not okay and I’m not sure why so many people seem to think it is 🙈

Dweetfidilove · 13/04/2025 15:09

I wouldn't have messaged him at all, as it's clear he won't give two hoots that you're unwell.
It's not too much though to expect him to text and 'arrived safely' or 'how are things'.
It's natural to have your spouse and children cross your mind over the course of the day and wonder how they're doing. Especially as he's not just at the office and will be home soon ☹️.

DirtyBird · 13/04/2025 19:50

Whenever I’ve gone away and didn’t contact my partner it usually meant they weren’t important to me enough that to have a desire to talk to them.

But for some people out of sight means out of mind and it doesn’t really mean anything.

thestudio · 13/04/2025 19:57

ShouldIEvenBother · 13/04/2025 00:13

Imagine a world where a mother goes away for a weekend with her cousins. She posts social media pictures of the wine and cocktails but doesn't bother to message her husband and ask how everyone is INCLUDING HER KIDS.

You'll have to imagine it because it doesn't happen.

This.

I 100% bet that the OP does most of the shitwork in that house and all of the mental load.

The very least he could do would be to acknowledge that he's able to be having a lovely time because she's looking after the kids.

ShouldIEvenBother · 13/04/2025 20:29

weareallalittlebitthesame · 13/04/2025 13:10

So he messaged his mother and let her know he arrived safely and has been posting on social media but hasn’t checked in with you at all? Of course that’s not okay and I’m not sure why so many people seem to think it is 🙈

I'm finding some of the responses on here really odd, too. It just feels a bit hateful for someone not to check in with their own family, yet contact their mother and post on SM. It's a bit of a statement and it's like giving two fingers up at OP and the kids. It feels unpleasant - especially considering the little girl has asked about him and OP has had to make up that the dad misses her.

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