FWB and STIs

[Camcam]

I’m wondering how the hell do they work? Is it considered normal for them to sleep with other people at the same time? If so, how does that work with STDs?

I caught chlamydia as a teen while using condoms with my first boyfriend so would worry that I could still catch something while using protection. Do you specifically ask if they’re sleeping with other people? Do you get regular STD tests done (where I live, the postal ones are only available every 4 months)? Apologies for all of the questions!

To be honest , I couldn’t sleep with someone if I knew they were sleeping with other people but then again, I guess they would expect it to be acceptable seeing as you’re not exclusive . I’ve been potentially offered a fwb arrangement and despite very much craving sex, it seems like it would be a bit of a headache.

Any advice appreciated!

I asked for a monogamous fwb, that’s what he wanted too, for exactly these reasons.

You just have to have that honest discussion.

Thank you! I have a potential offer for one but he’s very handsome and seems a bit of a ladies man. I think he would definitely be seeing other woman so will give it a swerve.

Can I ask where you met your fwb? Was it in real life or on a dating app?

I’ve had 2 medium/long term FWBs – both completely monogamous. I met both partners online and previous to starting these relationships, I talked to (and met) several ‘potential’ guys. Most were also looking for monogamous situations too. I suggest choose carefully, avoid the ‘players’ and make sure you can be honest and trust each other

That would be perfect having a monogamous one. I will avoid this one as for sure seems like he would be sleeping around.

Will go back to the drawing board! Most men I see on online dating state in their bio ‘looking for long term relationship’.

One last question! Did you text with them regularly? This one texts all the time but I’m aware that would most likely change if I were to drop my knickers. 😂

I would be sticking to condoms with a fwb. Otherwise you're putting your health in the hands of someone who is just a casual fling and may not be truthful with you.

I can’t imagine many people get sti checks, with the effort of it
most people just sleep with each other and don’t even consider it.

@Camcam re: texting
One used to msg (and phone) often so we really were friends with Benefits but we had a couple of shared interests/ hobbies too

Other was more of a FB really. He only msgd when we were arranging to meet.

I was fine with both

I think FWB is a weird name for these arrangements.
Seems in a lot of cases there isn't much in the way of friendship and it's just about having regular/ irregular sex with someone devoid of affection and for convenience.

It always sounds so unfeeling and cold and clinical. Not appealing to me at all.

I always do, and so do the men I have slept with with. I wouldn’t have sex without a test, it’s not worth it.

If it’s without the ‘friends’ side of it, then it’s more accurate to call it ‘fuck buddy’. That’s something different. Some prefer fb, some prefer FWB, some are happy with either.

Definitely friendship and affection in mine, I wouldn’t want them otherwise.

I do too, it’s so important.. just from chatting to people and experience most seem to not even think of it. Heck so many men don’t even bother with condoms to prevent pregnancy

FWB is about having sex with a placeholder but keeping your options open. It's a casual thing, not a monogamous relationship.

Condoms, regular STI testing are a must.

It's a casual thing, not a monogamous relationship.

A monogamous FWB is common though.

Having sex with a placeholder makes it sound even worse than FWB!
It sounds as though you are a pair robots meeting for fornication purposes!
What a turn off!