My partner blames everything on me

[relatinahips]

I don’t know where to start but I am so tired of this.
Me and my partner have been together for almost 8 years, we have 1 child together.
Last year in January we have split up for almost a year and got back together beggining of December.
The reason we split up was because he is very messy and I constantly had to clean up after him, he wasn’t helping me with any house chores unless I asked him or got mad at him for not doing anything, when I was first postpartum I also hardly got any help from him there was always an excuse why he can’t do this or that.
This has created resentment towards him and made me not want to be with him.
Due to me feeling like this, I didn’t fancy having sex with him and he would always get upset with me about it.
Last December, I told him we could try again but we can’t live under the same roof and I said he would need to find somewhere else to live which he hasn’t done.
He said this time would be different and he would change. Guess what? He hasn’t.
He did the odd things here and there like hoovering once in a while or wash up couple of dishes which would never get done till the end.
The only thing he does is cook most nights and I also have to clean up the mess after that every single time
Our son goes to school now, he is 5 and he goes Monday to Friday, I’m the only one that does the school drop off and school pick up, he is the one that sleeps in every single morning, he doesn’t attend any invitations from school or any parents evenings.
When I bring this up to him he gets defensive and makes himself a victim and he says he doesn’t do these things because I don’t treat him nicely. He also said he looses motivation to do any house chores and I’m not being intimate with him.
I feel fed up with this kind of behaviour and I don’t think I want to be with him anymore.
could someone please advise me I’m I being unreasonable?

Just ask yourself what kind of role model this man is for your son. He 'doesn't do anything because you don't treat him nicely'. Try reversing that next time he uses that excuse. You don't treat him nicely because he doesn't do anything.

Police are there to protect your son.Your son doesn't have to be witness to anything - they can come when son is at school or out of the house.

It's not your responsibility to home an angry, violent, unemployed man. Your responsibility is to provide a safe, clean home for your son.

It's for the sake of your son that you HAVE to get the police involved. Christ, is it just me or are there more and more of these situations here where women are unable to see their own victimhood? Are oblivious to the fucking obvious? And are willingly dragging their children down with them?

I apologise for the victim blaming, it's not my usual position but it feels like there's been a sudden explosion of this on here this week. OK, sometimes it's not always that obvious but in cases like this, @relatinahips , it is crystal clear. GET OUT NOW. Do NOT expose your poor child to any further bullshit of this nature.

Your son’s at school and neither of you work? Why not? What do you both do all day?

Household chores are his job as much as yours. They aren't something he should do as a 'favour' or to help you.

In fact, given he's off work, and you have some health issues, I'd expect he'd be doing more than half the chores.

There is no reason for him not to pull his weight other than he doesn't care / is lazy / is a sexist pig / he's happy to see you run yourself into the ground so he can laze around all day.

The fact that, on top of that, he has the cheek to whine about not having enough sex. What does he think is attractive about him?

This is domestic abuse.

For the sake of your son, you should call the police. It's not OK for him to grow up in this environment.

Speak to Women's Aid or local domestic abuse services.

So this violent loser is more important than your own child?
Get the police involved and get him out.

He sounds vile, OP. Get him gone. And it would be good for you to be in paid employment also if your son’s at school.