Anyone had any success with dating and hsv2?

[ritaBx]

Just that really.

A lovely ‘gift’ passed on to me by my ex husband 9 years ago.

Been separated 18 months, divorced last year and starting to think about dating again.

I would 100% be honest about it and tell whoever I was dating (when the time was right and before anything physical happened) but the thought of telling someone and being rejected because of it just makes me want to cry - though it would be completely understandable.

You can count the number of men I’ve slept with on one hand. I’m 39.

Any success stories?

Have you tried https://www.positivesingles.com ?

A friend of mine has used it, and said it took away a lot of the anxiety and awkwardness.

Yeah, there’s not many from around my area on there unfortunately. It’s a good app but very limited. Thank you though

X

Ah sorry you're in that position op.

I got hsv 1 (from oral sex) from an ex.

It doesn't seem to have as high a chance of recurring but, anyway ...I told my next boyfriend fairly early on (we were using condoms anyway) and he was fairly unphased.

I would just do that .... Reasonably early, tell them how you contracted it, how often it tends to crop up and what the risks of them getting it might be when you're asymptomatic (cause obviously you wouldn't be having sex when symptomatic.

I would be careful that they're a decent person before you do that (and obviously don't have sex until you have).

What else can you do.

Is there any way for someone to reduce their chances of getting infected by taking antivirals (?) I don't know but worth looking into it.

Thank you.

I think you’re right and that’s all i can do. It’s just the thought of been looked down at because of it - it makes me feel really dirty and I know it shouldn’t.

There is anti virals you can take which I never have done before but would do if I needed too.

just finding it very overwhelming, I do get a lot of matches on dating sites etc which is lovely but I struggle to get to know anyone just out of fear of rejection. Really really reallyyyyyyyy don’t want my heart broken again lol.

There is anti virals you can take which I never have done before but would do if I needed too.

I was presuming you would be taking them, but also wondering if your partner taking them could. help reduce their chances of getting infected. It's worth looking into.

but I struggle to get to know anyone just out of fear of rejection

I would just take your time, I'm not in favour of fast escalation to sex anyway (I've not had full sex with several partners for 3 months) and get a guage of them. I wouldn't tell them if you don't think they're a decent, discrete person.

I think you might be being too negative about the chances of a guy accepting if if they like you

If you haven't been using antivirals it sounds like you don't have outbreaks often. So that lowers the risk but obviously it's just the asymptomatic shedding/infection you need to discuss with them.

I’m sorry you’re worried about this OP.

You could consider putting your status in your dating profile? Scary I know, but it could mean you only get messages and matches from those who don’t mind or also have it.

https://bumble.com/the-buzz/how-to-disclose-your-sti-status?amp=1

I mean it seems to me that many men never read profiles properly, so you might still have to point it out to some!

Good luck getting back out dating again. 💐

Thank you, I’ll get there eventually. Just a shame there’s such a huge stigma around it x

No experience here, sorry.

Anyone who is willing to judge you (for anything) instead of spending time asking questions and really educating themselves about it isn’t your kind of person though, and they’re creating a space for that right person to slot in.

But if you’d like me to lighten the mood a bit, I might have to admit I read your title and spent five minutes googling ‘what’s the name of the train line going north being built now’ in various word combinations.

Obviously it’s morally right to tell people, but the virus itself is really not a big deal, it’s a skin thing. A lot of people have it. I’ve found it helpful to listen to podcasts that are quite positive about it.

Some people don’t want to risk catching the virus, however low the risk, others are fine with it.

I think you can casually ask if they've ever had cold cores and then say you get them sometimes so you'll let them know if you're getting an outbreak and you won't have sex or kiss that week as they can be passed orally too...
if they still want to date you then (which they will) then you've been honest without going into detail about where the cold sores are

Thank you - I maybe am making it more of a bid deal than it needs to be. I know a couple of people that have it, I know it’s not uncommon.

It’s just like a massive grey cloud hanging over me when it comes to dating.

Theres also the issue of actually finding someone decent enough to open up too, that seems like a challenge in itself!

Yeah that’s completely understandable. I personally wouldn’t want to contract it if I didn’t have it which makes me a huge hypocrite! But I mean no one wants it do they?!

I was just having a huge wobbly day yesterday, I’m ok again today and quite happy being single again 🙄😂

I think on the odd day that I get lonely, the hsv2 just takes over my mind as I start thinking how nice it would be to find someone but then my mind goes too ‘no one would want me anyway’