Too soon to move in together

[Seeingsomone]

Hi

i need some help navigating this. My girlfriend of 4 months wants to move in with me. We’re very happy but I think it’s too soon.

she’s had a lot of family stress for the last two months and I just don’t know if she’s stressy all the time or just because of family.

I’ve said that I think we need to relax and enjoy the way things are progressing but she’s taken it really hard. I thought I was being sensible.

any advice?

Have you had a happy, healthy relationship before?

Drama and stress are neither normal nor desirable at 4 months in. Ditch and run. Don’t you want to be happy?

Far too soon.

It is far too soon. Is she still living with her parents at 38? I wouldn't be entertaining someone moving in if they haven't yet lived independently.

If you are M/F couple, make sure your contraception is good and don't rely on her.

Do not minimise the many red flags fluttering away here. I would end the relationship now.

Sounds like she is trying to escape from something, running away not to.

What are her living arrangements at the moment?

Is she relying on the family that is causing her stress to keep a roof over her head and you're being lined up as the replacement provider or is she living alone independently supporting herself?

Yes, I think it's too soon.

I also think it's too soon for you to be feeling like you have to support her. In the nicest possible way becuase she may well be having a tough time, but you don't know her well enough or have enough history to be propping her up. I know that sounds harsh but the reality is that I will support DH through thick and thin, but that's because after more than 20 years togehter I know deep down who is as a person. If he suffers and needs my help for weeks or months, that's okay because I know that I'm giving him tha thelp to help him get back to the person he is deep down. After 4 months, maybe this is just who she is?

And no one should EVER move in with someone else because they have no other options. it's a terrible reason and can only lead to trauma.

You’re both supposed to be on your best behaviour and showing each other the best sides of yourself in the honeymoon stage. This doesn’t sound good!

Far too soon, especially given her reaction. Go slowly on this one.

There’s a lot of red flags here. Don’t ignore them.

If she is stressed after 4 months can you imagine how she is going to be in 4 weeks from now!

Move in. It save money incase it’s horrible and you move out again

She’s lovely, just going through a bit of stress.

pausing the moving in is all we need as it’s too soon.