Feeling put down

[Lostmum23]

I have been with my husband for 18 years, married for 14. I love him and he is my best friend. We have been through so much together. I have supported him when he gave up smoking, when he gave up drinking ( not nice time) , I have supported him when he got cancer (all clear now) , we have suffered 8 miscarriage, and I have depression. But lately we can’t agree on things. We have 2 sons 12 and 7. Our eldest has Autism and he loves cars. I’m ok with going to car shows ect. But I don’t like him going to this fortnightly car meet with his dad. Part of it is that the car club is run by my husband’s ex fiancée and he swore to me she would never even meet our kids. We agreed on that but he decided it was ok without asking how I felt. But another thing I don’t like is our son seeing things that are against the law. Things like speeding on roads, and drifting out of car parks. I also don’t like that my husband speeds with us in the car, I have told him that I don’t like it and it gives me panic attacks, and our son is starting to say speeding is ok as daddy does it. I just get told in no uncertain terms to shut up. He calls me a bad driver and says I’m a danger on the road as I don’t drive often enough and I’m overly cautious. And I can’t have an opinion as I don’t have enough experience on the road. I believe I have a right to an opinion on what our son sees and does, and about how fast my husband drives. I don’t know how to speak to him. Am I overreacting?

What do you mean by speeding? Is it 25 in a 20 zone or 100 miles an hour on the motorway?

It sounds as though you have been a supportive and loving wife.
But it sounds a very one sided relationship. How is he your best friend if he speeds in his car and puts the life of you and his sons in danger?
He gives you panic attacks by his reckless driving and he doesn't care.

And he lied to you regarding his ex fiancé. What else does he lie about,

I can't believe he puts his sons life in danger and is happily teaching him to disregard the law and road safety.
Quite honestly his behaviour is irresponsible .

If he won't listen to your concerns and he insists on taking your son to an illegal activity I would consider reporting this " car club " to the police.

85 in a 70. 40 in a 30

So he doesn't care who he maims or kills then.
Well I suppose if he doesn't care about his wife and children he wouldn't care about anyone else would he?

You might need to point out to him that he might care about speeding a bit more if his teenage son starts copying him and goes and kills himself (and possibly others).

I just get told in no uncertain terms to shut up. He calls me a bad driver and says I’m a danger on the road as I don’t drive often enough and I’m overly cautious. And I can’t have an opinion as I don’t have enough experience on the road. I believe I have a right to an opinion on what our son sees and does, and about how fast my husband drives. I don’t know how to speak to him. Am I overreacting?

No. He sounds like a dick.

He’s not just rude, aggressive and a bad father. His driving puts people’s lives in danger, including yours and DC’s. Time to steer clear of him!