How much contact?

[Notaboutthebass]

How much contact would you expect/like to have with someone (ie WhatsApp messages) between dates? (2 dates in, with a 3rd set up).

I think I would want at least a few messages/a conversation a day, even if just a couple back and forth and then the conversation naturally ends for the day.

Also should be initiated by both people at times so not one person always starting the dialogue

For me daily. I have heard from my BF since we matched OLD. We did meet quickly, but most men i met for coffee I heard from daily

Thanks. He'll leave me on read for 5 hours, I'll message back after 1 hour, then he'll leave me on read again for 3, then reply. This isn't every day though but rather a lot.
Fair enough if you're too busy to reply but I think it's rude to leave someone on read, yeah?

Does on read mean it shows that he’s read it?

I don’t always reply straight away to messages after I’ve read them. Especially if they’re not urgent. Depends what I’m doing. I would consider that quite normal myself.

Yes.
Oh fair enough, it's not something I've experienced before!

It’s a lot quicker to read a message than to type one. If you’re at work etc you might just not have the time there and then to reply. I do this with my current partner now and it’s not because I’m not into him! Whereas he doesn’t look at his phone unless he has time/taking a break etc so would reply straight away after he’s read it. Everyone’s different

I agree with you. If you are interested in someone, you don't read a message and then leave hours in between. If he is genuinely reading it while he's busy, it takes a few seconds to type "really busy but will reply later" or something to that effect.

I don't think it's rude to read a message and not reply immediately. It's not like he's not replying until the next day or something, it's within hours.

You're only a couple of dates in. (I suppose it depends what sort of dates they've been, if you're shagging already or not.)

I'd expect a couple of messages a day.

I often read messages on my watch but wait to reply until I sit down with my phone.

Every few days if it has only been a couple of dates. Daily if you’re ‘dating’.

I’ve been seeing a guy for 3 months. We’re not official but we are exclusive (don’t worry, I’m confused too 😂) and we text daily.

I think it is fine to leave messages on read, particularly if it is just chat rather than something that needs a response. He may have seen a message and be happy to hear from you and want to see what you have to say, but not be in a position where he can answer. Also if you both respond instantly you’ll never be off the phone!!

I think as long as you’re hearing from him a few times a day he seems attentive and interested.

There's a book i read looong ago, that has been updated to the new times, covering this. It's called The Rules. I heard mixed reviews. Curious to hear if anyone here has read it? What's the Mumsnet view on playing hard to get?

Thanks everyone!