Pregnant and hurting.

[Dellarose]

I’m coming to the end of my pregnancy with 4weeks left.
im in a very one sided, neglecting, selfish relationship with a narcissist.
the story is too long to type i just need some support from people who understand please don’t be shy I’m a new mum n I need help.

Do you want to leave him? What help are you after?

Things will be easier if you don't live together, then he won't be in your space all the time. is he planning on having lots of contact with his child.

We don’t live together we have our own places but its the way he treats me like he asked me to do him a favour yesterday which was more for his friend I kind of sighed but said I would do it (he didn’t end up letting me) but it’s cause I messaged him twice and he didnt reply but hours later he wants to call me to do him a favour and yesterday I slipped and fell I was tryna get thru to him finally I did and he said well what do you want me to do you should call 111 which I already did like he’s just so mean when he wants to be but then so loving and promising on other days I just don’t know it’s too up and down and he’s still not even messaged to see if I’m okay baring in mind I fell yesterday he’s just ignoring me and it’s sad cause I really don’t do anything but put him first and cater to him.

Edited: just saw you don't live with him.

I would minimise interaction with him. Get other support from friends or relatives. Do a lot of batch cooking so you have easyhealthy meals post birth.

I’m trying to the only support I have is my mum I don’t have friends which is why I think I hold on to him so much but I’ve been trying my hardest to not contact him even though he dosent even answer me I have no idea what’s going on we are meant to be together no one’s broken up with anyone but it seems like he’s trying to without saying anything so I’m just trying to be as distant as I can thankyou for your advice

It’s so good you don’t live with him. Keep it that way. He’s a terrible partner. So, if I was you, when he next bothers to message you, I would calmly break it off and say you just want to move forward as coparents. Keep communication as grey rock as possible - just about baby.

Try to build up your friendships OP.

You should be meeting other new mums at classes. Make as many connections as possible so that you create a network for yourself. Use your mum’s network of people too.

You’ll be OK without this horrible man dragging you down which is what will happen if you keep trying to have a relationship with him. You can’t make narcissists care or change.

Thanyou so much for your kind words it means a lot! I will try my best to branch out and find classes to go too even before the baby’s here !
Thankyou for your advice I really appreciate it x