Why do I feel guilty?

[Whatontodo1988]

I've been with my DP for 7 years.
I recently finished the relationship due to being starved of love, affection, sex, attention and lack of communication. Also upon discovering he had set up profiles on several dating sites, paid for subscriptions on Onlyfans and tried to befriend young girls on FB over the last few years. The list of his indiscretions is endless and caused me great pain, loss of confidence and loss of self esteem.
He always had an excuse- he was 'curious ', 'bored', 'not sure about our relationship ' and justified it by saying 'all men do it'.
There's no evidence of any actual cheating.
We live in rented and I'm fortunate in having a place to go to, which I've kept secret from him.
He will have to go into a house share and literally start from scratch, with his many debts.
He deserves it to be honest but why do I feel guilty and a bit worried for him?
I go from feeling furious for how he treated me and disrespected me to feeling sorry for him.
Help me get through this please x

You feel guilty because you’re a good person but he’s a shit head that deserves me to be dumped and have to start from scratch. It’s all his own fault.

You feel guilty because, over the years, he has learned how to manipulate your emotions to his advantage.

It’s probably the trauma bond and years of being on the receiving end of manipulative behaviour. And your low self esteem. It’s all related.
At some point you have loved this person, and I do believe that no one is 100% bad so maybe you care about some part of him. But, I think you can see the bigger picture and realise he treated you terribly and you now need him out of your life.
Manipulative men have a way of finding their next prey pretty quickly. You keep your eyes on the road ahead, your own life needs everything you’ve got! Worry about yourself. Good luck.

No, don’t feel sorry. It’s on him, not you. Keep the anger, it’s justified. Keep the self worth, self esteem - again, remember it’s not your issues, it’s his. But now you now that you don’t need to put up with this sort of shit, you’ve hopefully now got better, stronger boundaries and know when someone isn’t worth investing your time and energy on.

It's ok to feel that way, those feelings are valid.

Its just important that you can sit with those feelings and, still trust yourself to do what's right by you.

Just do what needs done and take it one day at a time. I suspect it'll feel like a relief once you are properly out. Even if it temporarily gets worse because he kicks off with guilt tripping.

Push through, be your own champion, you've got this.

7 years of this crap? Ugh you have tolerated a LOT. Nothing to feel guilty about.