Am I wrong?

[Kelly1999x]

I’m currently sick with a stomach bug. My husband slept in spare room, early morning I was being sick and our child started crying wanted milk so I phoned him to ask him to get up - because I was sick and he told me to fuck off in a very angry tone. Today my mum took her for the day, he was suppose to pick her up however I did let him know she was at my mums and to pick her up please he texted me at 6 to ask if she was still there but I was asleep since Im feelinf awful he come angey shouting whi didnt I answerr and when 8 said I was asleep he said “whatever don’t bloody talk to me think I wanted to go around the fucking world today” I feel like he’s so angry with me and not sure what ive done wrong? He said the house is a mess and that I went to see my nan on the weekend whilst he was busy gardening and I should of helped. Not sure what ive done wrong. He is now ignoring me. Told him my dad has Cancer on Friday and he hasnt since asked what kind or how he is. Not too close with my dad but still.

He sounds like a really nasty piece of work who doesn't like you.

I couldn't tell you what you have or haven't done wrong but if you change it to is he wrong then yes.
It is wrong for him to swear, shout and be generally unsupportive of you, yes, obviously. It's worse because your ill and have had sad news but it shouldn't happen anyway.

If your DD grew up and was in a relationship like this what would you tell her?

It's not only that he doesn't like you OP he doesn't even care about your child. Refusing to go to her when she was crying is just disgraceful.

You would be better off without him.

I'm sorry about your Dad. That's a hard thing for your family to have to cope with.

Pack up and go to your mums.

You are in an abusive relationship with an angry nasty man.

Your poor child being around him.
Get on to Women's aid for advice and suport as you have fled domestic abuse.

Take this very seriously.

He just said he’ll take our daughter and leave. I know its an empty threat. He just keeps saying “its all my fault isnt it, your so perfect”

He sounds like an absolute arse! The whole point of having a partner is that you’re a team. If one of you can’t do something, the other picks up the slack. Be completely honest, how would the last couple of days looked without DH around? My guess is that you’d be feeling a lot better without his abusive behaviour thrown in. LTB and find someone that makes you happy instead of kicking you when you’re down.

I'd pay close attention to his behaviour when you're ill OP. He's angry about it, he's not supportive and you have had a glimpse what life will be like if you get seriously ill.

Some men just can't handle their wife not holding the reins or having them centre stage. I'd really think hard about the future with him.

Is he always this awful or just when you’re ill? His behaviour is really nasty.

What a nasty, horrible man. You don’t want someone like that as a role model for your daughter. It doesn’t matter what/if anything you’ve done wrong (none of us were there and we only have your side) but fuck me, the way he treats you and your daughter and the way he speaks to you is NOT OK.

The way my mouth fell open.

That's not anger love, that's abuse.

Please get yourself away from this vile beast before your daughter grows up seeing her mother abused and thinking that that shit is normal.

You haven't done anything wrong. No one deserves to be abused. And abusive men never magically become good people.

Run. Fast and far.
He obviously won't get full custody lol. That doesn't gappen. Even if he did, he'd never be arsed to look after her, he'd drop her back with you.

Abusive men are often worse when they aren't the center of attention, eg, because you are ill or focussing on family tragedy.

But make no mistake, he isn't capable of love.

That’s awful :(
was there an argument before you became unwell or this is all just since?
if this is all because you have a sickness bug then that is quite disturbing behaviour!
I hope you are feeling better soon!!

I’m so sorry op. Of course you aren’t wrong. He’s selfish and cruel. I hope you feel better soon.

Concentrate on getting better and then start working on ways to leave this sorry excuse for a human being. What a grim little man.

I came home from work after him day before I was ill and he was sat on couch he asked what was for dinner and I said that I wasnt hungry as I didnt feel well he just said “oh right whatever then” because I wasn’t making dinner.

Call Womens aid.
YOU pack a bag and go to your mothers.
Tell her the truth.
You are being abused.

i agree with the first commenter, your partner doesn’t sound like a nice man and it sounds like he doesn’t like you in the slightest and has no respect. If he loved you and cared for you he would be sympathetic of you being poorly and take over the parenting and help you when you need it the most not get the arse on with you because you’ve not managed to do anything in the house. I would call it a day

What an arse.

I'm not well today. Its just a (bad) cold and my wife also has a cold but she's done everything today because i feel rubbish when im up and about. When she isnt well I do everything and I've got up every morning for the past few days so she can lie in until 9-10 and sorted the DC showers and breakfast etc. Partners should be a team! Imagine saying F off as well. That's awful. Get well soon OP 💐

I tell a lie I made a soup for lunch while I was up this morning so lunch was done as well. Then she did everything else and made dinner.

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad😘

How would your mum feel about you and DD going to stay with her??

The man can't even be bothered to get up to her in the night when she's crying, he's not taking her anywhere!!

You need to stay with your mum, or another relative friend or hotel for a few days until you're feeling better then you need to make plans to leave permanently

I know it's not easy, but that's what you need to do

He is now fully ignoring me as well. My mums owns the property we live at, he is not a British national and is on a spouse visa. Just so hard to leave because I do love him. Does this realy sound like emotional abuse?

Thank you everyone for answering x

If you're not sure it's abuse you can contact Refuge via their webchat. It's open till 10pm. Mon-Fri

Please leave. Now.

He should be treating like a queen for living in a place you Mum owns and having spousal visa because of you. Instead he is treating you, and your daughter, appallingly.

Get out while you can before he turns physical, however hard it may be to leave.

He’s an abusive shit. Throw him in the bin.

Lucky you that you can throw him out of your mum’s property and then change the locks!!

Please do the Freedom programme.

So he treats you as his servant and you're not even allowed a sick day. His attitude would have killed any love in an instant, for me.