Need Advice for a Friend

[neeadvice123]

Hi
One of my friends is in what i believe as an abusive relationship with a much old gentleman she us 20 and he is in his late 40/50's

Unfortunately due to Mental health and a Tought Live she has turned to drink and drugs, and to support her habit has resorted to prostiution

She has also entered into a relationship with one of her putting bluntly here punters

A Couple things i have noticed when spending time with them.

1. i have seen him call her at least 3-4 times, where she almost breaks down in a panic and when she answers is on a video call with him for hours,
2. if she doesn't answer the phone he has a go at her to the point where she is scared not to answer the phone
3. over the weekend to my knowledge he has now resorted to arrange appointments with punters with for her
4. stays on the phone listening or watching her have sex with these punters
5. had a go at her when her tik tok account got banned.
6. when we went to get her methdone, wanted screen shots of my uber account as he didn't believer her
7. has a go at her about her phones battery so the phone wont die when she is on a call with him
8. when she with him or even on the phone for 12+ hours she's not allowed to speak to or hang with anyone else

She has tole me the below as well

1. he goes through her phone looking at her messages whilst she is asleep and even in front of her
2. when he sends her money wants her to share her location via whats app before sending it (i have sent her money for bits in the past and she has shared her location with me i told her it wasn't needed but she did it anyway)
3. Brags to her Family that she could fund her drug habit for 10 years (I wouldn't if i could as to me that is abusive)
4. added her working phones whats app to his PC to arrange punters for her.

There is a lot more but doesnp't come to mind right now

I have told her that this is controlling and abusive and he is now sexually exploiting her even if he doesn't get any money. but i don't think she believes me

now im not stupid and know that the things i have noticed could be for my benefit to make me feel sorry for her, and manipulate me, but she did show me a few of the messages and i have over heard some of the calls

not sure what to do ti make her see all this and seek the help she needs

He's not her partner in any sense, he's her pimp.

She's being sexually exploited and can contact
Beyond the Streets who have a helpline. She can also contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline 24/7 for support or use the Refuge webchat which is available till 10pm.

thanks i think she does have a case and social worker as well

but its more about getting her to see what is going on and that it isn't right

She doesn't see her 'boyfriend' getting her clients as wrong? Does she come from a very dysfunctional background?

There isn't much you can do except encourage her to seek help. The problem here is that her 'boyfriend' could be a dangerous individual who may get aggressive if she leaves.

He might be threatening her or physically violent. She really needs to access support from a specialist organisation like the one I gave above or a domestic abuse organisation who can get her to a refuge.

total agree even if he is not taken a cut

Unfortunaley yeah she didnt have the best of upbrings, SA by someone she should of trusted and her family didn't believe her which may be where she is getting this from

I think its more down to the fact that she is scared what he might say to her family about her

yeah I agree what he is doing is wrong and sick i couldn't believe it when sne told me, was in shock! But couldn't do anything really to stop it as it was too late, i even offered her the money she was getting to stop her from doing it. but that would have been a temporary solution

When i managed to speak to her when everything had calmed down hours later, she was still on the phone to him, i asked her to end the call and she was terrified of what he would do

Not sure about Physical Violence, not 100% sure as haven't known her long but think she might have Borderline Personaily disorder and autism, She self harms

I would find out if there's anyone she trusts and listens to. I would see if I could encourage her to contact them or get in contact yourself.

She's playing with fire. She's obviously scared of him for a reason and her clients could do anything to her, she's in a lot of danger.

Encourage her to contact one of the helplines and tell her about refuges. She'll be able to get away from him.

Thanks i will try, i should be over there tomorrow as sorted a new bed for her, hers broke a few months ago

and yeah i agree she isn't safe, she leaves her front door open at times and fails asleeo and tells clients to just come in, and wake her if she is asleep

at least 2 guys have keys for hers too, both without permission, when i found out told her to change the locks arranged it for her same day as well, was happy to oat for it but that's when we sort of had a fight and i was asked to leave

It's just sounding worse and worse. These men could tell others there's a vulnerable woman who leaves her door open. She could get raped or beaten.

Her 'boyfriend' might know other nasty people or force her into doing things like porn or gang sex.

Try to gently speak to her about getting help because she's in a world of trouble.

Well trying to talk to her back fired big time

Wen over their on Wednesday night ok out of the blue so wrong on me on that part
Saw some guy exit her flat as i walked up the stairs
went in and she was surprised to see
After a few minutes of being their she said i couldn't stay as she had to work and had her friend over she then had a melt started to scream and shout throwing her glasses and plates all over
ran half naked down the street
followed her but couldn't catch up with her

tried to find for like 30 minutes heard back to hers to find 3-4 Police cars and asking who i was etc

Was with them until the found her at like 4 am and after what she told the police why i was there don't know if i can help moving forward

The only thing you can do is you contact the police highlighting her vulnerabilities, and that you consider her to be a victim of exploitation,.

You could also make a vulnerable adult safeguarding referral to her local social services. There is usually an online form you can complete or you can call them.

You say that you think she has a social worker but make the referral anyway. I know the police were involved during this incident but still make the report.