Is this a red flag?

[athenaswrath]

Hi, just need some advice.

Soo I’ve learnt a lot from previous relationships and I just now find a red flag in everything I just can’t help it. I straight away think that’s not normal or not right. Could be bad I suppose as somethings may actually be genuine but yeah because of my past I’m just extremely cautious and I kind of nit pick at everything 🙈 suppose that’s what happens when men have let you down and disappointed you in the past.

So I’ve been talking just casually with a bloke I used to go to school with since last year it’s just normal general chit chat nothing sexual he don’t message me every day or even every week just now and then, anyways Saturday he messaged and it was the normal ‘hey how are you’ ‘what you been up too’ ‘what’s your weekend plans’ kind of chat then out of the blue he says ‘I hope this doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable but could I sometime take you out for dinner’ I was shocked as didn’t expect it but I agreed have no idea when I’ll have time mind as I have 4 children 😂 did explain this to him and he was fine. Anyways he then says here’s my number message me on WhatsApp as I don’t always get messenger notifications I said ok, so we started talking on WhatsApp anyways yesterday I messaged and said ‘hey how are you?’ He never read it and even now it’s still unread, he don’t have a picture on WhatsApp either and sometimes that can be because they haven’t saved your number. I don’t know why I just feel there’s something wrong here surely no one doesn’t use their phone for that long… plus I’m thinking is he with someone or seeing someone which is why maybe he hasn’t saved my number? I don’t know I just really overthink things because of the past car crashes I’ve had with men. I mean it could be nothing maybe he’s not on his phone but yeah? What does everyone else think about this?

What a prick. Sorry OP

Horrible twat.
You were right to listen to your instincts.
Onwards and upwards 💐

I think it sounds suspicious. You are right to be cautious. He chased you, now he's "caught" you he's backed away. And probably wanted to change to whatsapp as it's more "private" and messages delete.

My thoughts exactly! This was a week ago yesterday he asked me and chatted for a while on WhatsApp and then when I messaged him the Sunday asking how he is and what is he doing today he literally didn’t open the message until over 24 hours later then read it and ignored me and I’ve had nothing since. People may say on here that I’m the red flag but I cannot be bothered with guys who do this chase and catch crap. I’m too old for silly games.

Indeed. He is playing silly games I'm sorry.

OP, it's bugging me more than it should that you misunderstood @AnotherNaCha so badly - twice!

She was saying: When something feels off but you're not sure you trust your own judgement, so you post on Mumsnet for opinions, that in itself is a pretty good sign the thing IS off.

Your instincts are wrestling with your 'thinking head', and it's your instinct that prompts you to post because it knows your 'thinking head' responds better to the written word.

You were quite rude to her.

Yup. Unnecessary to be so rude OP, especially when you’ve misunderstood someone.

@GarlicSmilei read it wrong and for that I apologise to @AnotherNaChai felt there was some sort of sarcasm there and didn’t appreciate when this is a forum for asking for advice and opinions. So again I apologise if this was not the case here.

Yep, that anxiety you feel is your gut speaking to you.
then you’re talking it down by saying you’re overthinking.

but I really do think (and have experienced) that when it’s a good thing, we can’t really overthink it or “mess it up”

so consider this a bullet dodged.

Yeah he's clearly playing games, it's so fucking wierd when men do this and I'm glad Im not on the dating scene in this day and age. Just write this one off and move on

It would be a red flag to me as soon as he said "What you been up too".
A Facebook friend writes too for every single to, e.g "If anyone wants too go too my party and needs me too give directions I'm happy too do that" and it makes it so hard to read it actually infuriates me