Back out of a date

[BoltCat]

I've had a couple of dates with a guy (#1) who I'm not sure of - although he is growing on me a little. In the meantime I've arranged a date in 3 weeks time (he lives out of my area and he's away with work) with someone else I'm interested in. In the meantime however, Man #2 is texting me multiple times a day and now suggested that when we meet (near me) he'll book a hotel the night before and the night after, near to where the restaurant is. I find this way too full on and overwhelming. … so how can I back out of this gracefully? I regret making the second date now. It's getting far too complicated. I just wanted to turn up on the day and meet. Now I just want out.

Just cancel the date with guy 2. If he persists, block him. He is far too full on for such an early time- or, indeed, any time. He wants to get you into his hotel room too, I'd bet.

You’ve got the ick and you haven’t even met him yet. Just message and say on reflection you’d rather not meet.

Man 2 is primarily interested in sex and assumes you are too. You'e not looking for that sort of relationship right now, so just say so.

You are entitled to chance your mind. You don't owe him anything other than just telling him it isn't going to work for you.

If you are newly back on the dating scene then learning to trust your instincts and act on them is a very important skill.

Hi #2, change of plan. I no longer wish to meet up. Thanks for your time, and I wish you the best.
BoltCat

#2 wants a shag. Just text and say ‘sorry I won’t be meeting you Saturday. Wish you well for future’

And no more communication.

If you’re back dating after a break then a thick skin and being able to say ‘no thanks’ are essential

What's the point of dating Man 2 anyway if he doesn't live anywhere near you? It's always going to have this issue and if you aren't in it for the shag too then it doesn't make sense. Tell him you've changed your mind and cancel the date. You don't have to give any explanation, that's enough for someone you've not even met and aren't feeling keen on.