Empty relationship with mother

[Bluegreencat]

Has anyone else had one? My dm passed away four years ago. She and her partner were together for many, many years, so the funeral, scattering of ashes, etc was done to the wishes of her partner who also inherited everything. I grieved for my dm and for the relationship I wish I’d had and will never get. It wasn’t terrible. It was just rather disinterested. I never felt I mattered all that much. She wasn’t remotely interested in any love I could give. I have never come across anyone else who has had a similar relationship and the whole thing confuses me from time to time.

Dealing with the death of someone with whom one had a less than good relationship is always hard. But your relationship was what it was and you feel what you feel. That is OK. Don't feel bad about it.

Me. My DM wasn't particularly invested in us as children, we were mainly an inconvenience. This changed slightly when the grandchildren came along. She did seem to make a bit of an effort. However she now has dementia and I feel her true personality is coming out. She still knows who we are but it's very clear she really isn't that fussed. Has always been very focused on her partner too, who would clearly rather have her all for himself.

Some people should never have children.

Maybe some counselling would help you work through your feelings and come to a better place.