I feel used

[Vinotimes]

I have seen my partner for the first time in 10 days as I have had the flu and we are long distance. We were catching up and he was talking about himself, I feel like a therapist a lot as he has problems. He said a relative has to have an operation for skin cancer, I briefly explained my dad had that recently and has had 2 operations. I only spoke for 30 seconds and had finished what I was saying and then my partner goes “anyway” then starts talking about some online support group for people with ADHD where there was 37 people online then goes to tell me about some heroin addict who was on their. I wasn’t trying to make it about me but explain I know what it’s like to have a relative with it. I had told him before but he doesn’t listen.

I got upset as he shut me down and then thinks it’s ok to talk about some random heroin addict. He apologised and said he needs to work on that. Usually he is pretty good so I don’t know if it’s because we hadn’t seen each other as he said he wanted to get it all out. I had a friend behave like this months ago, I listened to his endless issues then one time I spoke about me he turned it back on his problems.

I just feel lonely and isolated. I get this at work too, not everyone but some people are just self absorbed. Other colleagues are good I ask about them vice versa when you see them. Some ‘friends’ have dropped off the radar as they just want to get angry about politics all the time and ostracise people who have different views

Is this how society is these days? People just want to vent and use people.

People will vent at you and monologue of they think you’ll let them. And you do let them…Why

Some men do this to women, even work colleagues. They treat them like support staff and caseworkers.

I had a bf once who just endlessly talked about all his problems. He had friends but didn't feel comfortable talking to them as they were male so he info dumped on me.

This bloke sounds incredibly selfish and indifferent to you. I can't imagine just directing the conversation away from someone's sick father. He's long distance so perhaps you don't know him too well.

As for people at work, sympathetic smile and wander off.

I couldn’t bear that. He sounds like a shit partner. Don’t sign up for any more of it.

My ex was like this and a long time female friend of mine is like this. Happens every time I talk to them, never really felt close to either of them as they never really actively listened to me. And obviously didn’t care about what I had to say if they easily cut me off or didn’t acknowledge what I said.

Thank you all for your kind words. I need to start standing up to users and find reciprocal relationships. He did apologise again today and wanted to make sure I was ok and that he needs to not do that again.