Have a baby alone or with a partner I’m unsure about?

[Venby38]

So the back story is I have a child with my ex wife, she is now 8. We separated when she was 2 after my wife cheated on me. We now co parent 50/50. I have recovered from the heartbreak but I still struggle with not having my little girl with me all the time.
I would love another child. I am 38 so time is moving on. I have considered on and off over the years doing it on my own.
I have been dating a lovely lady the past year who would also like a child. However after my experience with my ex wife I really do not feel that I want to have a child with a partner again and risk splitting up. While me and my girlfriend both want the same things for the future I feel that my heart is just not in this relationship. Therefore our relationship ended
I had settled on my decision and started taking the steps to have fertility treatment solo, with the great support of my family. My ex girlfriend has recently got in touch again wanting to give this another go, saying how she feels I could have a positive experience this time with her as my partner and other parent.
i guess what my question is is- is it better to do it solo or with a partner who I don’t feel ultimately is right for me? Alongside my fears of splitting up again and losing time with a potential other child, there has been quite a few family, value, lifestyle differences that have made me think we aren’t compatible in the long run.
please go easy on me

Go it alone.

If you aren't sure about the ex partner then forget that. If you really want another child and can afford it and are well enough supported then that's the better way to do it.

Children need the guidance of a mother and a father

Well there’s no chance of me turning straight I’m afraid

OP is clearly a woman. How would she be planning to have a baby on her own if she was a man?

Having been a single parent for the first 10 years of my DS's life I think it's preferable for a child to have 2 parents (not necessarily father & mother). However it's damaging for a child to witness their parents splitting up - though often this is unavoidable.

Go it alone rather than risking putting yourself & your children through another break-down of your relationship.

Don’t have a baby with someone you aren’t compatible with! Not fair on the baby, or your eldest, who will have her life disrupted.

Surely having a baby with you recent partner who you are unsure about is giving you a high chance of bringing out the scenario you are trying to avoid (50% parenting)?

I guess I’m wondering if it would be better to stay with her and have a child together when she is a good kind person and we don’t clash but I just don’t feel she is the great love of my life

Also, very much not true.

Thank you!

100% go it alone. Park relationships for now and instead concentrate on conceiving and then being the best Mum you can be. Good luck. You got this.

There are lots of different kinds of very loving and healthy families. What about those who don’t have either or both? Can be for many reasons. Children above all need love and stability. A single parent can raise happy and healthy children. Not all two parent households are healthy or safe so good luck to OP and hope your journey to Motherhood goes well.

100% this