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Relationships

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Support/advice/handhold please

5 replies

Venby38 · 04/04/2025 21:50

So the back story is I have a child with my ex wife, she is now 8. We separated when she was 2 after my wife cheated on me. We now co parent 50/50. I have recovered from the heartbreak but I still struggle with not having my little girl with me all the time.

I would love another child. I am 38 so time is moving on. I have considered on and off over the years doing it on my own.

I have been dating a lovely lady the past year who would also like a child. However after my experience with my ex wife I really do not feel that I want to have a child with a partner again and risk splitting up. While me and my girlfriend both want the same things for the future I feel that my heart is just not in this relationship. Therefore our relationship ended

I had settled on my decision and started taking the steps to have fertility treatment solo, with the great support of my family. My ex girlfriend has recently got in touch again wanting to give this another go, saying how she feels I could have a positive experience this time with her as my partner and other parent.

i guess what my question is is- is it better to do it solo or with a partner who I don’t feel ultimately is right for me? Alongside my fears of splitting up again and losing time with a potential other child, there has been quite a few family, value, lifestyle differences that have made me think we aren’t compatible in the long run.

please go easy on me

OP posts:
Venby38 · 04/04/2025 22:26

Bump x

OP posts:
Venby38 · 05/04/2025 07:22

Anyone?

OP posts:
Howtohelpbirds · 05/04/2025 07:46

Yes if you are not compatible and you don't see yourself grow old with this person, then I'd definitely say don't have a child with her. And don't take her back at all.

Whether you have a child on your own vs no 2nd child is a different question, but both options beat having a child with someone you don't want to be with

Venby38 · 05/04/2025 08:57

Howtohelpbirds · 05/04/2025 07:46

Yes if you are not compatible and you don't see yourself grow old with this person, then I'd definitely say don't have a child with her. And don't take her back at all.

Whether you have a child on your own vs no 2nd child is a different question, but both options beat having a child with someone you don't want to be with

Thank you

OP posts:
InternetUser · 05/04/2025 19:52

I see why you are concerned due to past experiences but I think having a child on your own is a very big responsibility. Being the only parent so no one else to help. I know that some people end up in this situation and cope.

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