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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband of 12 years has been unemployed for 21 months - although he has contributed

11 replies

LobbyJ · 04/04/2025 20:46

I am working my ass off in 2 jobs while he does diplomas but I can’t do it any more. I’ve had cancer and surgery. I’m done, waiting for him to sort himself out. I am suffering g and putting my life on hold. He is bringing me down.
I’ve tried to be supportive but I am on the verge of giving up as it is getting me no where.

OP posts:
Wakemeupbe4yougogo · 04/04/2025 20:53

How much longer is he going to be studying for? And why can't he work part time around it? You sound at the end of a very long piece of rope.

Arthurnewyorkcity · 04/04/2025 20:56

21 months really isn't that long if he's been employed for all the other years and you agreed to him studying? Your cancer diagnosis sounds very tough. How long left to study? Will studying lead to a good income? Could he work around it? Did you agree he should study? You sound desperately in need of a break

Gretnaglebe · 04/04/2025 21:01

Unless he’s studying something like medicine I’d say he gets himself a job.

LobbyJ · 04/04/2025 21:06

He has also had surgery although not for cancer but he is now fit and it’s a diploma which may lead to a job eventually but he is offloading in me and I just need a break 😢

OP posts:
ohnowwhatcanitbe · 04/04/2025 21:08

You need to lose your shit at him and give him an ultimatum. Either he gets a job or the Bank of Lobby closes.

LobbyJ · 04/04/2025 21:26

I may well lose my shit!!! 😊

OP posts:
LobbyJ · 05/04/2025 16:48

So he was made redundant then I got cancer. I recovered and he needed surgery. He’s better now - the studying is part of trying to get work but he is losing confidence and feels like a failure at the moment. I need something good to happen!!

OP posts:
GOODCAT · 05/04/2025 16:55

Has he signed on with employment agencies and open to doing any temporary or permanent work?

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 05/04/2025 17:27

why wouldnt he have a part time job

Lalaloul · 05/04/2025 19:01

Absolutely get rid and don’t look back

mintydoggyv · 05/04/2025 19:13

You and hubby /partner can he consult with jobcentre you can't go on like this can you . He needs a job even if temporary he can't blame you. 21 months is hard and the jobs are few and far between l understand is he getting all the benifits you are both entitled to just a thought . Shouting at each other will not help . I know it's difficult you need to work to gether. All the best dwp

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