Male friend texting female friend a few times every day

[publicswimming]

Is this ok if one of
you are in a marriage.
wife does not know this happens.
work, social, humour related messages.
mutually reciprocal.

Men are rarely if ever be that friendly unless it’s because they fancy them, whilst he may not been cheating, the fantasy and hope is there even if the female doesn’t fancy or flirt with them, the man will hold out in hope or thinks the her being friendly means she does fancy him and he will still enjoy the thrill of secretly messaging. She will enjoy the attention while not actually cheating.

I think this is quite hurtful. He is messaging another woman and investing time in their relationship rather than with his wife.

I think if they are totally honest they are probably enjoying the thrill it gives them that someone of the opposite sex wants to be in touch with them so much. I’d be really upset if I was the wife in this and I’d be having a word with them both. I have male friends but we are in touch probably once a week.

I don’t have time limits on contact with male friends. Because, strange though it may seem to you, there isn’t just one Man Slot in my life that gets filled by DH.

Understand that but it depends on the relationship and how the wife feels. If it makes her upset or insecure then he should put this above a few memes to another woman. It’s about how much you care for someone and their feelings isn’t it?

Oh right so your DH is quite happy for you to be spending time secretly messaging men you used have sexual feelings for multiple times a day?
Or don't you take your marriage seriously enough to care how he feels about it?

When have I suggested I have sexual feelings? I was responding to @Beekeeper5 ’s post saying that she does text male friends, but only weekly.

@Beekeeper5 — no, I wouldn’t pander to someone else’s territorialism and insecurity.

but we’re not all lucky enough to be secure, not anxious about our relationship. Wish I was but I can only be honest and say that I would really find it hard to cope with this. Then it’s up to the DH to decide what is more important to him.

I text my best male friend of over 20 years two or three times a day. I’m married he’s single. He’s seen me through divorce and marriage, baby, grief and was around way before my husband etc.

I tell my husband but don’t recount everything, most of the messages are inane about TV shows we watch that husband doesn’t like or how work has been. sometimes it’s recipes and I try it out at home with the family. They know each other, we’ve all been out.

Not sure if that’s what you wanted to know OP or if it helps.

The husband in OP's scenario had sexual feelings in the past for the woman he was texting.
Your reply to Beekeeper implied there was nothing wrong with the scenario presented by OP .

@publicswimming hell to the no

Read it again.

Have read your post a few times and it seems to me you are saying that you message your male friends as often as you like because your H isn't the only man in your life.
If that's not what you are saying then please explain.
Although tbh I don't want to derail OP's thread. So perhaps don't bother explaining?