I think my ex is going to walk away from son.

[Mummaonherown]

I've had hell over the last few months. If you have time, read my last posts.

My ex has now moved in with his new GF of 5 months with her 3 children.
He hardly sees our son, doesn't call him. My son was unwell on Monday and wanted to facetime daddy, I called my ex and told him he was sick (vomiting) he told my son he would facetime him, we arranged a call back at 7.30. He never called, so I just left it.
Tuesday morning I asked him why he didn't call, his words were ' the problem is I'm with her and her kids and I don't want you coming on the phone'
My son has a slight speech delay, so my ex doesn't always understand what he's saying so I help with translation at times.
He also told me on Monday night that he would visit our son in Tuesday, again I asked what time he would be down and he told me he "wasn't coming as I live 1.5 hours away and he wants to go home" the travel never stopped him before.
This is when he told me he lives with her before backtracking.
We had a heated argument, and I said somethings that I wasn't proud of but I've genuinely had enough.
I told him to walk away and leave us alone.
He's now blocked me, on both my son's communication mobile and my personal phone and I'm starting to think he might actually walk.
I feel so guilty for my son but this isn't stansiable.
I've tried mediation 3 times, he's refused to engage and told me he's not going to court.
What should I do, just leave it?

Nothing you can do. You cannot force him to be a parent. Some people are just really shitty people.

Does he pay maintenance for him?

I'd leave it, I don't think he cares anymore.
Your his past, sorry to be blunt but you and your son aren't a priority.

I read your post about child maintenance, you've done the right thing in reporting him, shameful behaviour.

Let him walk and hope he doesn't come back. An absent parent is 100% better than one that comes around only when it suits him/is convenient and doesn't actually prioritize his child.

Make sure you've applied for child maintenance. He has an obligation to financially support DS even if he chooses not to see him.

@DorothyStorm nope, he's fraudulently claiming UC while working. Promises me money every week which never comes so I had to report to benefit fraud.
He told me if I report him he wouldn't pay me anything until it was all sorted. The twat isn't paying me now, so it makes no difference.
My son's money is going into his new gf's household.

@Mummaonherown make contact with the child maintenance service. Let them do the investigations into what he's getting. Unless he's getting cash in hand, he can't hide his taxable income from them if he is working on top of the UC.

I wouldn't bother even hoping for anything from him but you owe it to yourself to ensure you put this in with child maintenance service and let them enquire.

Report the scumbag for benefit fraud and then claim via CMS. He can just decide to opt out of supporting his son. He may be a shitty dad but he still has to pay.

@Wishyouwerehere50 yes I have, I reported him to benefit fraud in January 6 months investigation but child maintenance have been chasing him for a week now and he's refusing to engage, not answering the phone etc.

I just feel so guilty for my son, I feel like I failed him

Get what you can through the CMS, hopefully they’ll keep trying. He’ll get a discount for the kids he lives with which is mad.

You can apply for CMS, but as he’s living with 3 other DC, and on benefits, it will be next to nothing.

Surely he isn't financially responsible for those children?

@healthybychristmas If he lives in the same home as them, CMS view that he is, yes.

@AnneLovesGilbert he won't disclose he's living at her house as he has his own property (council home which he lied about circumstances to get) he'll use his address or his mum's.
But, why as they aren't his children, he shouldn't be responsible for them why should my child suffer

@Elunajeya absolute madness!

The CMS don’t care that they’re not his. If he isn’t registered as living there it won’t be an issue.

He sounds absolutely awful, your son is probably better off without him.

The new gf is pretty stupid to let a random man move into her DCs safe space after knowing him for 5 months, how pathetic to put him before her kids.

@AnneLovesGilbert I honestly didn't know this, thanks for the heads-up. Like I said, I doubt he will register himself as living there, he's got a council place (studio) which he is claiming UC for while working not declaring income (£185 day rate) as a bricklayer, so wouldn't be entitled to that money. He'll sublet the flat in time, he comes from a family of benefit fraudsters, his step dad and dad both sublet their council homes so I'm sure he'll be encouraged to do the same.

He's a really bad dad, always has been - my friends felt that I "lead" him in parenting I probably did looking back at it.

@Bananalanacake I'm not 100% sure but I think she's had him there around the kids from day 1.
He was going swimming with her kids from 2months in.
My ex used to slag people off like her, he can't now can he.

I wonder where the children's dad is, 3 girls under 10!

Yes, in your own words ‘just leave it’. Focus on creating a steady , calm environment for your child, that’s what he really needs most in order to develop and thrive.You sound quite jealous of your ex’s new set up, tbh and you need to let that go.