Relationship advice please

[Frozen1515]

Boyfriend of 3 years keeps freaking out and ending the relationship and leaving during an arguement. I'm usually always the one to reach out first to reconcile then feel rubbish each time, especially when I feel he should apologise first after he has walked out on me. This time, I've made a point of not contacting him. Other than one phone call the next day (which I didn't answer), it's been a week without any communication from either side. What would you think/do here?

I’d throw this one back. That’s no way to live your life.

I would say OK and never speak to him
again.

Not bother doing anything

He's got what he wanted. Leave him to it

I've just come out of a shit show like this. Get rid. After 3 years it will never get better.

Don't settle.

Leave him to it and move on. Don’t waste your life with constant drama

You are enabling his behaviour.
Ask yourself this, if you met him 3/6/9 mths ago, would he have done this then? Just because you've been together 3years, this does not matter. Love yourself and let this one go.

Move on from this immature man.

I would think that you had dodged a bullet.

It is super childish. Will you ever have another relationship with someone who treats you like this: No, didn’t think so. Out make sure he is in the never again group.

This

He tried to call you the next day and you didn't answer. Safe to assume that if he hasn't turned up at your house begging forgiveness he thinks the relationship is over.

If he can't communicate like a grown up during arguments, and chooses the flight option every time, he's certainly not going to want clarification that you're done. He reached out once and you blanked him. He's conflict avoidant and won't want to risk getting into it again with you.

He broke it off (again!!) in the heat of the moment, and left hastily. I phoned him after and asked him to come back even! But, if it means so little that he only tries to ring once to reconcile, is it that important to him (clue: as important as it should be?).

While I’m sure it stings that he can’t be bothered to try harder to fix things, take it as a sign that this guy is not for you and that you deserve to be with someone who won’t throw these tantrums in the first place, and who will want to build something with you and put in the effort.

You are genuinely better off without this one. Think of it as the trash taking itself out and toast his departure.

If hes like this at 3 years in could you live the rest of your life on tenterhooks waiting for him to explode again. Raise your standards - hes a poor communicator.
Block him and find someone you are better suited to and who treats you well.

The confusing part is, he was never like this before, only in the last year or so. It's a shame because it is a nice relationship otherwise but I'm just not sure I can cope with the instability and unreliability for the rest of my life...

So he's changed now the honeymoon period is over. This is what he is really like. You can't "fix" him or make him happy. Let him know his behaviour is disappointing and so you have no choice but to make a decision. Better alone and look for someone else than live on edge with someone with poor communication and a bad temperament.

This sounds extremely childish and how I would expect teenagers to act.

Not once in my whole relationship with my husband have I ever threatened to end the relationship or actually done it.

It’s not mature and you obviously both don’t know how to maturely communicate or problem solve.

If it’s not working after three years nothing is going to miraculously change now.

You’re beating a dead horse here I’m afraid.

Its over, so best to move straight on with your life, and better luck next time! The fact that you were even contemplating maybe continuing is worrying, though. Can you raise your sights and expect better from now on? 💐