Would you bring it up?

[noideamumma]

In need of some opinions please!!

Me and my partner have had a little rough patch recently where he had betrayed my trust, not physical cheating but hiding of innocent messages between him and work colleague as he knew i wouldnt like it (even though we all know eachother)

Anyway, we have sorted through this i have set boundaries he is getting the help he has needed for a long time for various reasons and we genuinely are making great progress and i can see the change!

However a comment he had made a good few months ago seems to play on my mind ‘guys only have girl friends that they wanna fuck’…now in my mind if you and this colleague were just friends then surley you hold to this comment you made…and did indeed wanna fuck her?

Do i bring this up now…even though its from the past and will most likely cause an issue?

thanks :)

His view is that men only have female friends if they want to fuck them. And now he has a female work friend who he has been secretly messaging. Of course he wants to ‘fuck’ her. He’s told you that. Twist yourself in knots all you want trying to make it untrue.

More importantly, you should dump him because he sounds like a massive twat in all respects.

Wanting to and actually doing it are very different things!
if u are committed to someone does that mean u are no longer able to find anyone else sexually attractive ?

Depends, can you ask him without there being an argument? If so, then just ask him nicely what he meant by that?! And does it apply to his girl friend?! If it will cause a row, then I'd be inclined to drop it.

If the messages were innocent why hide them?

Why don’t we as women trust our instincts?? It’s our superpower!

It’s a vile thing to say about women.

If he’s working on it and getting the help he needs then I’d leave it. Despite what people will tell you on here people can change. He’s been using the wrong strategies to get his needs met - because of past issues in his life. He can learn to use the right ones, put boundaries in place and be open and honest with you. You can’t change the past but you can build a new normal for the both of you x

However a comment he had made a good few months ago seems to play on my mind ‘guys only have girl friends that they wanna fuck’
Not all men think like this, but your man certainly does. I'm sorry but he has told you who he is. He's a prick. 🤦‍♀️

Theres a quote i was told once...
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time"
Hiding 'innocent messages' sounds fishy.
Saying "guys only have girl friends that they wanna fuck"
Do you need for something else to happen in order to leave? 🤔

He doesn't sound like a keeper. I'm sorry you're going through this and tying yourself in knots over this dodgy dude.
Hugs to you 🫂

sorry op, his general attitude to women sounds vile. I’d be more worried about his general attitude towards women than his colleague. He has zero respect for women.

To me having been cheated on in the past if he had been hiding the text there is more to it. Even after finding texts with plans for my ex meeting a work colleague he still lied. Sorry but I definitely don't think it sounds incoccent given he was hiding the texts. I also agree with trusting your instinct ot will rarley let you down. The fact you have posted on here shows you have doubts. Trust your natural instinct