Is there a checklist somewhere for the script?

[MyCrappyTurn]

I think I'm doing well at script Bingo so far:
Extended mid-life crisis
Just not happy, haven't been for a long time
Apparently I act strangely when he gets off work calls to a particular person 🧐

God, I spent my life with this person. I used to be so proud of them.

Do you mean the chump lady one?

Easily googled ...

Hugs 🌸

I am sorry you are experiencing this op. I think a lot of us have been there and it’s shit!
It does feel like they are all taken aside somewhere to learn this bullshit that they spout, but I believe it’s actually a response to cognitive dissonance. They are doing something they innately know is wrong, but they want to do it and so are doing it anyway, this makes them feel uncomfortable so rather than change their behaviour, they blame you.
The main one, which I see you have already had is usually that they’ve been “unhappy for a very long time”. They may well have been planning for the future, booking holidays, moving house, have appeared fine and happy, but no, you just didn’t see it! They’ve been miserable for decades and the fact they didn’t say anything? Also your fault.
You don’t “pay them enough attention”
You want to go out too much/not enough/to the wrong places
They never wanted to get married (despite being the one who proposed)
They never wanted children, despite being a vigorous participant in their creation
You have “let yourself go”, ignoring the fact that you have probably given birth to their children and run yourself ragged looking after them.
It is a load of old shite where they blame you for absolutely everything and anything to attempt to justify their own shit behaviour. Don’t fall for it op. If he’s had his head turned, that is on him, not you.

I'm sorry :(

Here's a recent list of the Script from MNet

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5169069-the-script-what-would-you-add?page=1

It's all depressingly predictable.
I second reading Chump Lady, she tells it like it is.

Thanks all, I think that was the thread that was in the back of my mind.