I'm only attracted to older men.

[Candacesarah1884]

I'm 38 and have had long term relationships with men up to 10 years older than me previously. I only find older men attractive and would date someone up to the age of 70. I'm getting mixed opinions from friends and family. They'd like to see me with someone closer my own age. Is it wrong to date men 20/25 years older?

well, I’d ask why? Is genuinely age attraction or do they need to be older & solvent, older with accommodation etc
Have you had a bad experience with men your age?
What if you dated older man who had adult children older than you?
Would you try start a family with an old guy

Why though? Do you want to end up as a nurse with a purse? What attracts you?

Well, it's not wrong but have you ever actually dated at 70 year old? I suspect that you have rose tinted glasses about how it would go.

Another age gap thread. Are they really from different people or does someone have a fetish?

Well of course there Catherine Zeta Jones And Michael Douglas -25 year age gap
What does one see in a millionaire movie star?
Are you after rich or are you going to be girlfriend to a regular older guy?Say 63

Without being rude, do you think you have daddy issues?

Im nearly 20 years older than you and I wouldn’t touch a 70 year old with a ten foot pole 🤢

Try OLD - you’ll be inundated with messages from men decades older

I’m only attracted to philanthropic billionaires who are spurs fans oh and are vegetarian
It’s a tough gig I tell ya . Don’t seem to meet any socially

This is what I'm met with, I know to expect it now but it does put a shadow over relationships. That's people's reaction after the inevitable, gold digger mentality.

It's frustrating and scary to be honest, it makes you feel as though you are doing something wrong, which is why I asked

It's not about money! This is the response I knew I'd get and is the exact reaction I get out and about. Age isn't just a number it seems, you will get labelled as having issues or being a whore. Cannot it not just be about personal preference?

Why though? Sounds like you're going for older men out of choice so there must be a reason. What if you met someone you really clicked with who was the same age?

OP, I’m the same way. Always have been.
I think it’s fine. You can’t force yourself to be attracted to someone you’re not, it wouldn’t be kind on them.
the maximum age gap I’ve had is 11 years and DH and I have 11 years between us. It’s literally never been an issue.

It's entirely up to you. Obviously you won't have children with a 70 year old and will be looking after them but if that's how you want to spend your life, go for it.

I was always attracted to older men…in my teens in the 80s I had a little collage of photos in my wallet…Phil Collins, Paul Newman, Michael Caine and John Thaw. My friends were into Simon le Bon and Tom Cruise and they thought I was nuts. I was absolutely besotted with one of my teachers as well. It carried on into adulthood and I’m now married to a man ten years older than me. I don’t have any issues…it’s just me…always was.

Looking at Phil Collins today though….you definitely have to approach a big age gap with a degree of realism about how your life might end up.

For me it’s having worked through two lifetime’s worth of shit long before any of my peers, so I only tend to connect with people including friends who have worked through some huge losses/ traumas and have the depth and emotional intelligence to deal with complex internal landscapes.

My DH is not perfect (nor am I!) but he is always willing to reflect on his behaviour or seek therapy at times. Which makes him a very attuned dad.

Younger men are normally very shallow in my experience.

You’re a bit touchy! You asked for opinions and now it’s all exasperation and protesting you’re not a whore.
Look, if you can genuinely and unreservedly say that older guys are your preference why are you here asking strangers what we think. Stride on, plenty older men on OLD will be delirious at dating a young woman

I’m also attracted to older men. Daddy issues maybe? Or maybe maturity, wisdom and life experience is more attractive to some than rock hard abs. My boyfriend is 17 years older and he leaves all the men my own age in the dust.

No obviously about it. An old person may die or may afford a carer. Nothing stopping them from having dc

Common sense.

...and lower sperm quality I believe.

I'd think you're being incredibly short sighted.

There are many stories on here of women with a 10 year age gap (or even less sometimes) between themselves and their older husbands, who didn't think it was a big deal when they were younger. Then all of a sudden, he reaches a certain age and they feel likely they now have to slip into pipe & slippers retirement with a irritable man. His sex drive might dwindle much faster than yours, then there's the fact that you will face possible erectile dysfunction or age-related ill health much earlier in your relationship than the average couple.

Other than father issues, I think the reason why some women are drawn to much older men is because it makes them feel more emotionally secure. They think he'll have less of a wandering eye for women his own age because their youth will always dazzle him and they'll have less competition amongst women their own age too because not a lot of women want a partner that is that much older.

However, those women often find out the hard way that even though she's much, much younger than him, she too has an expiry date and that she'll be traded in for a younger model as soon as he sees the opportunity.

Why are you looking to become a carer in your thirties? That's what will happen if you start dating men in their seventies.

I was similar, although could never have dated someone 20+ years older than me. However, I met my current partner a few years ago and he truly is the love of my life. He is also 3 years younger than me. I always said I would never be with someone younger than me. I am glad I opened myself up to explore what a relationship could be like with someone younger than me (he pursued me)!

It's very strange that you only find older men attractive. You're in your 30s and you like the sound of a 70yo? Bizarre, sorry.

what would be the attraction of a man in his 60s or 70s? Great if you are a similar age and you both have pensions, grandkids and arthritis… but I don’t understand the appeal when you’re 38.