Help. I'm a 60 year old man who has three adult children in their early thirties, divorced around four years ago and the past couple of years started dating. I never met anyone really special until late last year, shortly after Christmas. She's everything I could ever want, smart, funny, fit, attractive and we have amazing chemistry. She's around 5 years younger than me. She gets on well with my two sons and my daughter and life suddenly feels really good.
The problem is my best friend. He's taken it really badly and has acted jealous right from the start. I liked this person for ages before I got up the nerve to ask her out. She works behind the bar in one of the local pubs we go to now and then and whenever I asked my mate should I ask her out, he gave me endless reasons why I shouldn't. That he knew she had a partner, she's probably going to say no because I'm a customer, that she probably would see it as harassment in her workplace. I ended up asking the manager of the pub would it be OK to ask her out and she laughed and said I didn't need to check.
Never mind, I asked her three days after Christmas and I'm so glad I did. My mate seemed happy to see me happy but something was off. He made a few snide comments that I allowed to let go, along the lines of age difference, which isn't all that much anyway, that she wasn't good enough for me, her job isn't good enough, so many trivial things.
Then I ran into a couple of issues with her and I allowed my own insecurities from previous dating failures to take over and in my head blew something fairly innocent out of all proportion. I asked my friend what he thought and he basically told me she must be seeing someone else behind my back and that he saw her with someone last year, that her behaviour is really cagey and if she can't answer my questions directly and immediately that I need to dump her.
I have been really upset so I sat down with her on Sunday and now I am very reassured that my concerns are in fact down to my insecurities. But best mate has kicked off, called ME names, called her a name I'm not allowed to write here, accused me of using him to meet women, that I have never been a good friend to him, that I am a fool to keep seeing her when she is clearly using me. That I needn't bother meeting up again with him if I continue to date her.
Interestingly other friends have NOT advised me to end it and never give her the time of day again and when I've told them how best mate is behaving, they are horrified at how cruel and rude he has been.
I have known my best friend for around 25 years now. He has been in at least one abusive relationship that left him financially broken as well as on his knees for a few years afterwards and I think he is reacting based on his OWN stuff. He won't see sense though and every time I try to call him he declines the call. I tried this morning and it looks as if he has blocked me now.
I don't know what to do. I've fallen in love with this new woman, I will continue to be careful but it feels as if we have something very special.
I don't want to lose it and I feel as if my friend is emotionally blackmailing me. Surely he can't just drop 25 years of knowing each other so easily?