How did you sort/finance counselling??

[noideaoffuturenow]

We've needed counselling for a v long time.....DH has repeatedly told me he will sort. Needless to say-he hasn't, which I guess speaks volumes. I do feel that I would prefer to think I'd tried everything before accepting that DV is unavoidable, however so I've looked at options. I'm horrified at the cost implications. I would love therapy/cpunselling; I think we all have things inn our lives which need unpacked/colour our behaviour negatively. How earth do people afford it though?

How do people afford coffees from Starbucks? Hair appts including colourings and highlights? Make up to wear daily? Takeaways? Booze? Nails or lashes?

it is about prioritising and I guess for me- a short term high(ish) cost investment into my marriage versus divorce (I’m assuming DV is divorce and not domestic violence!!!) is a no brainer.

My view if I was you would be that counselling is going to be a lot cheaper than divorce & then running two households, so you make it work

Yes-DV is divorce.
I do get that it's a priority worth investing in. And ok, LT hopefully worth the investment if DV can be avoided. But it's a whole lot more ££ than Starbucks!! I don't have any regular treatments to swap £ from...

I think if you’re at the point where divorce is the other option then you can’t afford NOT to do it really, work together and find a way

It’s not - or shouldn’t be - about the money.
Whatever the cost - if you both want to do it, it will probably be worthwhile. If he isn’t committed to the idea, if it costs £1 it would be a £1 wasted.

There will be non “essentials” you can cut back on somewhere- tv channels like Disney plus? Amazon prime? Surely you get hair dresser visits and could maybe move to 4 in the year rather than 5/6? Look at all contracts? Subscriptions? Gym memberships? Etc.

At the end of the day divorce IS expensive and afterwards you need to run a household each- so counselling for 6-8 sessions (you are unlikely to need more than 10-12 maximum!) is a drop on the ocean…