Would you be upset if family member did this?

[Bencher]

i know this is total first world problems and there are so many bigger fish to fry in the world but would be interested to know your views

I told a close relation recently that I had Botox. She asked quite a few questions and said she was also considering it. Asked her to keep it private as rest of our family would be quite judgemental. She agreed and also said if she got it she would never let on.

the following week there was a big birthday dinner, 20 of us there, everyone catching up asking what’s new and my family member loudly said “well she looks completely different and can’t move her face so you can guess what’s new”
I was horrified and actually quite upset

That person is a horrible person. It says more about them than it does you. They are probably jealous that you look better than them or can afford to get Botox.

Yeah I would be annoyed but you have learnt your lesson and know not to trust that person with private information again.

It isn't so much about the Botox but more about her disloyalty to you. I have suffered similarly and with family members too. I no longer speak to them. Years of letting things go but one day enough was enough.

Thanks. Just feel very hurt, despite being a 40 year old woman :(

Totally justified

1. she broke your trust
2. she was then really bitchy

would be different if she had said ‘doesn’t she look great, amazing how good Botox is these days’ - still not great

I would feel betrayed 😔 it's such a horrible thing to say even without the chat about privacy. It wouldn't occur to me to share other people's news/business, family included. I'm 45. No shame in being hurt just because you're grown. She was mean. Sorry OP x

Ugg, well there’s someone I wouldn’t be speaking to again. Broke your trust and confidence, rude and bitchy - fuck that.

Did you challenge them after?

Being 40 doesn't mean you shouldn't be hurt, it's a horrible betrayal!

They were horrible, are probably jealous and can't afford it

Thanks everyone. No I didn’t challenge her I just went very red and didn’t know what to say

What a horrible cow. She was deliberately humiliating you and wanted to hurt you. I'd steer well clear from now on.

It strikes me as the kind of comment that would have led to an awkward silence!

People like that depend on the shock silencing whoever they humiliate. They would never do it if they thought they would get a public bollocking and their shitty behaviour exposed.

As she is a relative I assume you’ll have to see her at family events. I’d keep it breezy and not create an atmosphere but no way would I be saying more than hello and goodbye to her.

What did the rest of the table do or say?
She broke your trust after you asked her to keep it quiet but then she didn’t just quietly mention it, she shouted it in the most horrible way. I would of definitely said something to her

I’d have shouted…
well my Botox will wear off in a few months.
You are stuck with your personality, you nasty bitch!
What a horrible, horrible woman.